WHO'S THIS WEEK'S THIRSTIEST HOR? Is It Pete Davidson? Or Gus Kenworthy? Or Facial Fitness Gum?
Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than Chrissy Teigen's fashionable "underwear dress" at the Olympics Opening Ceremony, so they need all the moisture they can get. First up, the Internet's favorite critter-infested pass-around-peen. I'm referring, of course, to Pete Davidson , who's been linked to countless Hollywood camel toes thirsting for publicity, or so it seems, because unless Pete's diseased tube steak is irresistible, than I, for one, do not get what's going on here - and probably don't want to know for my own mental health. Pete is the Fred Durst of comedians, the Jaden Smith of actors, and, yes, the ass from which the worm escaped and nibbled on Robert F. Kennedy, Jr's brain matter. Given his girlfriend track record - which includes the alleged model, Emily Ratajkowski ; nepo-nothing throw cushion, Kaia Gerber ; doughnut enemy, Arian...