Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from D'Hermitage! ------------------------------------- Did you know? The Pets of Peckerwood Manor have long kept secret diaries, and no one has known what they've been writing. Until now! Lucky for you, I stole some pages from a few and can now share their hush-hush scribbles:  FROM THE DIARY OF SCOUT: "Normally, I don’t get unduly agitated before 10am, but I had to attend a funeral last month - mobster related, thus the glamour scarf early in the day. I cannot say more than that. However, there was spaghetti served after the funeral and it must be discussed! The meatballs in it were dee-vine, so I told everyone: 'Look! Bacon!' and a race ensued…in the opposite direction. Thanks for the tip, Nubs (of the House of Baconette). Recall rocks! And spaghetti!" FROM THE DIARY OF ABBIE:  "Me and dad usually play char...

On October 23, 2023, Governor Tim Walz of Minnesota received an urgent text from his wife, Gwen. It wasn’t about her. Or their daughter, Hope. Or their son, Gus. It was about their dog. “Scout locked himself in our bedroom somehow,” she wrote. “There is no key.” The governor reacted with a question mark. Then, he screenshotted their conversation and posted it to X. “This damn dog,” he tweeted. In 2017, Tim Walz made Gus a promise. If he won the election for Minnesota governor the following year, the family could get a dog. A high-wire and stressful campaign season unfolded over the next several months. But despite the craziness, his son didn’t forget. (He wasn’t the type: Several years before, he delivered a detailed PowerPoint presentation on why they should get a cat. “To be honest, the fight for the cat was one of Gus’s premier projects,” Walz told reporters at the time. “Sold my wife.”) Nine months after his January inauguration, Walz scheduled a press conference. The reason? “Afte...