Peckerwood Manor

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Mizcynical! In this edition of "Fake Ass PR Relationship That I’m Tired Of Pretending Is A Real Relationship," we have Taylor Swift and Kansas City Chiefs football player Travis Kelce. Heard of them? It’s been - what? - less than 2 weeks since we saw that staged video of Travis and Taylor (sporting a Chiefs jersey tied around her waist) walking through a football locker room, not quite holding hands and making eye contact with someone’s cell phone camera? I’m already sick and tired of hearing about it. Let me start by saying my annoyance with this "relationship" doesn’t stem from being some football purist whose head is ready to explode because of the recent influx of Swifties becoming interested in football due to their coupling. Typically, the only way I know what’s going on with the sport is if I happen to catch a pa...

Would you cheat on this? That the question every hor is asking themselves this morning, because yesterday, the luminous Jodie-Turner Smith filed for divorce from acceptable, mildly doable man-schlub, Joshua Jackson. Why, you ask? Because allegedly he had a case of the wandering scrotum-totem. Yes, he cheated on her , not the other way around, which is confusifying on so many levels that I just cannot. I mean, look at her. Look. At. Her. What in micro-peen man-whore hell was he thinking?  Jodie's asking for joint custody of their 3 year-old crotch dropping - and get this: there's no prenup. Which means this could potentially get very messy, but then what did we expect? They first met at Usher's 40th birthday party. If that's not stanky-bad juju, I don't know what is. Since Jodie's net worth is allegedly $5 million and Joshua's is allegedly $8 million, expect Jodie to get a hefty chunk of Joshua's cheese - not that kind, you shameless tramp - given that sh...