Love Dies, Love Lives, Love Is Desperate!

Would you cheat on this? That the question every hor is asking themselves this morning, because yesterday, the luminous Jodie-Turner Smith filed for divorce from acceptable, mildly doable man-schlub, Joshua Jackson. Why, you ask? Because allegedly he had a case of the wandering scrotum-totem. Yes, he cheated on her, not the other way around, which is confusifying on so many levels that I just cannot. I mean, look at her. Look. At. Her. What in micro-peen man-whore hell was he thinking? 

Jodie's asking for joint custody of their 3 year-old crotch dropping - and get this: there's no prenup. Which means this could potentially get very messy, but then what did we expect? They first met at Usher's 40th birthday party. If that's not stanky-bad juju, I don't know what is. Since Jodie's net worth is allegedly $5 million and Joshua's is allegedly $8 million, expect Jodie to get a hefty chunk of Joshua's cheese - not that kind, you shameless tramp - given that she has a child to look after and she's Jodie. Turner. Smith. Dammit. Love is dead, but it will definitely make bank. 

Moving on, who could have predicted that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce would have become 2023's couple du jour - and that their love would last through two whole football games and counting? But that's not the most surprising part. Apparently, Travis' mom, Donna, very much approves of Travis+Taylor and even posted a photo of her and Taylor on her Instagram page yesterday. So it's definitely on. And it's Mom Approved™. "Donna likes Taylor and thinks she's very sweet and down to earth," said a source which is of course not at all one of Taylor's masterful publicists. 

I've got to hand it Taylor and her team. No one milks a relationship, or whatever it is, which such startling skill. Her fans are practically apoplectic, even daring to watch and attend football games in which they freely admit that they've no idea what's going on (same, gurl!). Not since Vadge at the height of her fame has a pop star so effortlessly yanked her fans' chains. Love lives, and like Jodie-Turner Smith, it will definitely make bank. 

Finally, we conclude with "ick," "nast." Why, you ask? Because apparently, some people out there - totally not Anderson's publicists! - have stated that Anderson is a "twunk," as Anderson himself was informed recently on "The Howard Stern Show." For those of you not fluent in ghey, a twunk is a twink, or an under-25, snackable ghey, who's added a bit of hunk muscle. Combine the two, and you have twunk. So I ask you, in what cockamamie world does this pasty-assed 56 year-old try-hard Kathy Griffin traitor clown consider himself a twink, much less a twunk. As I said, "ick," "nast."

Mind you, Anderson also told Howard that he's focused on fatherhood right now, so he's not interested in dating - yet he regularly posts desperate, hurtin' for a squirtin' pictures like the one above on his Instagram page. That is, when he's not posting pictures of him and his two little kids in an equally desperate bid for - what? - ghey relevancy? I don't know which is worse: being an over-50 hor who thinks he's a twunk or shamelessly using your two kids as props. Love is desperate, and while it might not make Anderson bank, maybe another past their prime twunk will slither into his DMs. Anderson should get with - and very much deserves - the likes of Sam Smith. Or if he's really lucky, Frankie Grande. 

Photo Credits: Jackie Nickerson, Getty Images, Instagram/Anderson Cooper