Getty Enjoying October, possums? Where I live in the city the colours have only just started, but out in the country where I'm staying this week every tree is a riot of warm-toned brilliance, yellow to crimson and a few lime greens thrown in. And just as the fashions traditionally feature these colours (plus purple, for some godforsaken reason, every goddamn Fall), the local fairs traditionally feature a size queeny competition for the largest pumpkin.  Well, this year in Ontario we are all losers, because the biggest pumpkin didn't win because RULES. Honestly, what person with a functioning soul would discriminate against an innocent gourd like that. So it had a "soft spot." So what? Take a close look.   Jeff Warner Jeff Warner If a pumpkin of proper age wants to get its freak on (with an FBI agent, perhaps) who are we, or the judges, to judge?