►Back in the 1990s, Madonna and Goopy became besties. They hung out together, both married Brits, and they even wore red strings to signify their faux embrace of the Kabbalah trend which was all the rage. Then, in the early 2000s, they stopped braiding each other's hair and kaput: friendship out the window like a bad fart. Fast forward to today. According to Amy Odell author of  Gwyneth: The Biography,  she spills the tea on why. It all goes back to an incident that happened when Goopy and her then husband, Chris Martin, were on vacay at an island for the entitled rich. The story goes that Madonna seemed to know where Goopy & Chris went and she conveniently ran into them. Oh, how Single White Female of her. The couple found this strange but didn't think twice about it. Madonna insisted they join her for dinner, with her daughter Lourdes (around 10 yrs old at the time, if my math is correct) and other guests. During dinner, Madonna went all Mommie Dearest ...

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Mizcynical! So what are your plans this weekend? If you happen to have a spare $5,000, or even $1,200, burning a hole in your pocket in this economy , then I have just the thing for you. Gwyneth Paltrow, our favorite out-of-touch-basic-bitch (who was briefly African), is hosting an in-person wellness summit. Because of course she is and her timing couldn't be more exquisite. Perhaps, dear reader, you don't live in Los Angeles, therefore missing out on the opportunity to see and  work with her in the Santa Monica goop office - and if you do, this means you earn enough money to afford a studio apartment with six roommates in one of the most expensive cities in the world.  Another downside of not living in L.A. is that you don't have an overpriced Panera Bread - oops, I meant goop kitchen - near you, therefore, missing out on the...