WHAT COULD GO WRONG? Elon Musk's Flying Car!

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Chitty Chitty Boom Splat! That's the flesh-ripping, skull-crunching sound you'll likely hear if flying cars ever come to pass. Because gravity, she is a mean girl. Just ask the Challenger astronauts! (what, too soon?) But that's not stopping Alef Aeronautics, an Elon Musk Space-X funded start up, which - incredibly - has just gotten approval for test flights from the FAA. 

So let's see, we've got Elon Musk (who, when he bought Twitter, labeled himself "Chief Twit") (points for accuracy!) (and who's currently in a dick spat with Mark Zuckerberg); we've got Alef, which is still so desperate for cash they're soliciting on their web site; and, oh, yes, did I mention gravity? So I ask the ubiquitous question: What could go wrong? 

Alef boasts that its car is "environmentally friendly!" Really? Does it run on Elon's butt clappers? Because that ain't clean. And, sure, maybe I'm being a buzzkill, but just imagine the drunk driving accidents in the goddamn fucking sky above every one's goddamn fucking heads. Are you not entertained?

Also, if you were hoping for a funzi Jetsons-type flying car...


...think again. 


Behold the vaguely see-through Honda Civic with a big, black herpes pimple dead center. And, no, this isn't the first time someone's had a go at a flying car. In 2017, Airbus' and ItalDesign's car-drone hybrid, "The Pop.Up." - it was operated by A.I., you could summon it with your phone! - was announced. 

So basically a janked up helicopter. It never made it past the concept stage. Because, you know, gravity, safety. Silly stuff. But you can already pre-order your very own Alef flying car - which retails for three-hundred thousand smackers - and yes, rich loons are already doing so. So I ask yet again, what could go wrong? 


I'll get behind this if, and only if, Musk and Zuckerberg - and, hey, let's be magnanimous and throw in Jeff Bezos - take the very first FAA-approved flight together. If something goes horribly wrong, will we really lose anything? Ah hahahaha!

(Photo Credits: United Artists/MGM; Alef Aeronautics; Airbus/ItalDesign; Hanna-Barbara/Warner Bros)

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