Calm Down, Y'all: Grimes Has an Explanation for Everything!

 

Source: Wired

In today's episode of Rich White Girl Jonkler Vibes, we take a look at Wired's interview with Grimes Claire Boucher and shit on all the bullshit she shat forth as she's so often wont to do. So strap on your muck boots and get those masks back out of the closet, Peckerlings - there's a lot of mess to wade through here.

In the interview, which will be featured in Wired's upcoming September issue, Claire talks a LOT about AI, robots, and the future - using lots of fancy smart people words like "sick":

• On the idea of fans creating music using her AI generated voice long after she's gone: 
• "Oh sick, I might get to live forever."
• If she had an opportunity to go back to any recording session ever: 
• "The Ninth, that'd be sick."
• On films she would be interested in doing:
• "A Midsummer Night's Dream update would be so sick."
• And on Jeff Bezos' plans to build a megastructure that has something to do with a clock in a mountain or something:
• "That's so sick. I love analog clocks."

But wait, there's more! Of course the interview wouldn't be complete without bringing up her tumid-torsoed, blobfish-breasted baby daddy, Elon Musk. And while the interviewer was granted "one Elon question," Claire didn't let that stop her from going on and on and on in defense of him. On what she learned from him:

"I learned from him, like, the best internship ever. People don't like talking about Elon, but it was incredible to be right there watching all that SpaceX stuff happen. That's a master class in leadership and engineering and makes you understand how rare it is to have a leader of that quality."

 And on his Twitter bullshit:

"I know, the stuff on Twitter doesn't make it look like that. He didn't build the culture there. And the cultural fit has obviously been very intense. He holds his people to really high standards. Watching him, I understand how difficult it is to be a great general and do something of that magnitude. Elon has an old-world kind of discipline I really respect. And I think it rubs a lot of people the wrong way. They don't want to be in that hardcore zone. If you're not consenting to being in that hardcore zone, I get it. But he's challenged me a lot. I learned a lot about running my own team and my own life. I'm now way tougher and smarter than I used to be."

 

And if you thought she hadn't fellated him enough by now, just wait 'til you read what she has to say about his views on the trans community and wokeness! Was she was disturbed by some of his tweets?

"I don't want to talk about this too much. But take the trans thing. After that, we had a big, long conversation. I was like, 'I want to dissect why you're so stressed about this.' Getting to the heart of what Elon says helps me get to the heart of what other people's issues are, because it's this uber guy situation. And it came down to pretty much every way that you transition can cause fertility issues. I was like, OK, you don't hate trans people, you hate woke culture. I get that it can be annoying, and you have concerns about the fertility thing. So let's figure it out, because there's a lot of fertility tech that could be innovated that would help trans people have kids, which would be great and would solve a lot of problems. He's just on Twitter, and he's unhappy with woke people, and the arguments happened." 

 

Oh, it's just that he's so concerned about fertility issues! Right, that has a lot to do with everything! He doesn't hate trans people, wokeness is just annoying, that's all! Whew!! Because for a minute there I thought he might want to go eat a bag of dicks. And thanks, Claire, for "dissecting" why he's been so "stressed" about the whole thing. I'm sure it's all really so hard on him, personally. You're a real objective peach for getting to the heart of the matter. But are you a woke person?

"Probably not. I don't know what the term means. I think we need to change the discourse. The more people you can convince that this dichotomy is silly, and an out-of-date fight, the better. The root cause of this is people not resolving mental health stuff the right way. And not educating people on screen time where they get hooked on dopamine spikes."

Ah, well all those words you put together sure addressed the question perfectly! Screen time and dopamine spikes, of course! Thanks, again, Claire. It all makes sense now.