WHY WE THINK HOT MALE ACTORS ARE GAY-GAY-GAY! Or Will Taron Egerton At Last Make His Move?
With news last Friday that Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborra-Lee Furness were separating, certain quarters of the Internet started foaming at the peen. At last, they surmised, Hugh will soon leap out of the closet and give Taron Egerton the hard, wood-poppin' trip to pound-town he's long been hungering for (I would pay for that video) (no, really). This isn't surprising, of course. There's a long tradition of hot male actors, married or not, being called out as gay. Which inevitably leads non-believers to exclaim, "Oh, but you think everyone's gay!" Or, "He's not gay, he's just British!" or "...he's just into musicals!" or "...he's just in touch with his feminine side!" or "...he's just very tan and likes to work out!"
The term "beard" or "lavender marriage," dates back to at least the 1800s. Back then, it was used to describe a "pretty bird," or a straight woman enlisted by a closeted gay man, or an "Ethel," as helpful camouflage, be it for dating or marriage. It worked the other way around, too, and sometimes in tandem, when gay men would marry lesbian women to keep both their families and society at bay. Yet it's not always a strict case of bearding. Cluelessness can play a part, too. In other words, many celebrities enter into straight marriages believing they're heterosexual, only to recognize otherwise later. Like Peter Allen, who was married to Liza Minnelli before realizing he was strictly-dickly. Angela Lansbury was briefly married to actor Richard Cromwell before he admitted he fancied the pole; and Fran Drescher was married for some time to producer Peter Marc Jacobson before learning he sizzled for sausage. People are complicated, even now.
And then there are instances of, "You're kidding, right? You fool no one, you big girl." Case in point, John Travolta, who's been rumored to be gay since the late 1970s. Back then, Carrie Fisher, in a loose-lipped moment, stated that he's "openly gay." And of course there's the well documented liaisons with his male plane pilot, Doug Gotterba, who reported that he and Travolta were longtime sexual partners - and remained so even after his marriage to Kelly Preston, a rumored beard paired with Travolta when he joined Scientology. And yes, all those pesky male masseuses Travolta had to pay off after getting all grabby-assy-pully-pistol with them. Tsk-Tsk. Is it possible that Travolta is bisexual (or "fluid," as the kids like to say these days)? Of course it is. Is it likely? I don't know. Ask Tom Cruise.
Luckily, a number of celebrities these days feel comfortable enough to come out, like Jarrod Carmichael, but it's still a very risky thing to do career-wise, especially if you're male (coming out as a lesbian, on the other hand, is "hot" for straight men, even more so now than in the days of Jodie Foster). Which means that having a beard is still quite useful, and some might say necessary, for gay male celebrities hoping to maintain a mass-market career, whether it's a certain middle-aged movie star having a string of young, hot model girlfriends and never marrying, or a young male pop singer having an on-again off-again affair with a female Latina pop star (guess who, don't sue!). Playing straight is always bank.
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