Fools ALWAYS Part With Their Money: Life lesson #1

The only thing they had to do was dial 1-800 I Told Y'all. Who couldn't see this glorious, wonderful day coming to fruition? This is the day that certain fools who parted with their money got burned after ignoring the inevitable even as it came down the freeway at extreme speeds, flashing red sirens as a warning. It has always been ridiculous. From jump street, I wondered who in the world is buying these convoluted NFTs crypto currency crap. WHO?! I wouldn't have bought one for 5 dollars, much less the millions others paid for theirs. And it isn't just because my husband would have divorced me on the not often used grounds of That Bitch Be Dumb; the judge would have given him full custody of our children on principle. 

I had a bad moment when I thought NFTs or crypto would be something to consider investing in because it was an exciting concept. I didn't want to put my little nest egg in something boring, and I wanted to do it without my husband breathing down my neck, bossing me around. Just because that's his job doesn't make him the boss of me! I was going to show him how smart I am. Oh yes. He would rue the day he discounted my sheer brilliance on economic matters; he would apologize, eyes downcast with that sheepish grin that melts that one heart cell banging around in my ice cold chest. I cozied up to this image and quite liked being a financial wizard for once. 

But then, like those of us who didn't grow up in the lap of luxury, I began to sweat at the idea. I had worked hard and made sacrifices for every penny of my nest egg, my mini fortune. Furthermore, I always panic about spending on big-ticket items or feel guilty when I enjoy decadent things. My palms will sweat, and I will feel my heartbeat speed up when it is time to pay. We poor kids know the actual value of money and what it is like to have none of it. If something isn't on sale, I sometimes force myself to buy it without ruminating and calculating in my head. So what in the world was I doing considering crypto and, for one feverish moment, NFTs? Las drogas. That is my excuse. That damned aspirin I took in 2003 had returned to own my ass. No, a bad batch of vitamins and herbal remedies made me soft-headed for a little stretch. That is my story, hookers, don't question it!

So now, in 2023, I am acting like a happy loon because I didn't do it. I told everyone else not to do it. On D-listed, we discussed this, and the consensus was that it was a stupid waste of money. I remember when Strawbitch Goopy made a couple of NFTs, and we had some, ahem, shall we say, very sharp opinions about it. 

Celebrities are often those fools I mentioned earlier; those greedy hoes always try to make more money. Tom and Gisele had a third party in their marriage alright, and her name was Cryptina. They lost millions in their marriage because they wanted more than safe investments with a lower return.  Once that picture of Supermodel and The QB looked less glossy and when Tom wouldn't leave the glory with dignity, Gisele seems to have checked out. The cheating she withstood, but a loss of tens of millions and his refusal to put his family before football was too much. She did her best, but a 35+ million loss can't be recouped. They were both aging out of their chosen fields. Vicky Secret was in the garbage, and Nepo models were the unfortunate rage. There is no desire there for her. There is nothing out there for what some say was the last real Supermodel. 

These days, NFTs are worth zero, nada, zilch, nothing, just like that ridiculous dot.com boom full of worthless empty concepts without tangible products. I dodged that one, too. New York and San Francisco were full of supposedly savvy investors throwing vast amounts of money at 22-year-olds with no business expertise for a concept that was only smoke and mirrors. So many people in my peer group got sucked into it and made so much money it was obscene. They destroyed the neighborhoods of my youth, The Haight (Haight Ashbury), Castro, and The Mission (Mission District)for a time and maybe forever. And then what happened? The shit crashed because why? There was no "there" there. Sounds familiar, hmmmm. Ninety-five percent of NFTs are useless and have no value because there is a considerable surplus, insufficient demand, no interest, and the dizzying heights of 2021-22 could have never sustained itself. Now, people have gaming tokens or art for art's sake, which is cold comfort for those who put all their retirement into them.

What happened to those friends of mine who made trucks full of money just for unproven ideas? The smart ones took their cash, downgraded their lifestyles, and got jobs. The others blew through their money, came slamming back down to terra firma, and toil away in careers outside of tech, dreaming of that brief time when they were millionaires.