NIGHTCAP: JLo's Version Of Canada's National Costume (with McDonalds Bonus). My Pillow Guy + Pissed Off Attorneys = Shit Out Of Luck. Sarah Ferguson Day Time TV Show? Drake's Tummy Aches.

 

 

Today's nightcap is focused on people who seem to be living an alternate reality. They are either delusional wankers, or trying to remake reality into an unattainable fairy tale, or over estimating their importance. In some cases all of the above. Grab your beer goggles because you're going to need them when looking at these foolios.

► Jennifer Lopez-Noa-Judd-Anthony (almost Rodriguez)-Affleck, who is still riding the high from her 4th marriage, stepped out in her version of the national costume of Canada to do an impromptu stroll while the paps captured her "I'm just Jenny from the block" moment. In separate outing, she and Affleck ventured out to McDonald's where a camera crew captured them chowing down on burgers in the drive-thru. It's these precious moments that show this relationship is built on quicksand. Read More

Jennifer Lopez. Photo: LaStar Pix Media / Backgrid //Daily Mail

Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck. Photo: The Celebrity Finder / MEGA// Page Six

Comment:  I'm certain JLo's gag reflexes were being tested as she forced herself to eat McDonalds. I imagine her telling Benny in-between orgasmic swallows, "oh yes Benny this is good" while secretly hating him because she defiled herself by eating pleb cuisine. The JLo who was engaged to Alex Rodriguez would be yelling at Affleck JLo  - and ordering her to go to a medical spa for a prebiotic kale enema and 4 hours of hot yoga to flush that shit out.

 ► Election denier, MAGA butt snifer, ex-crack addict & My Pillow Guy, Mike Lindell, is out of money and out of luck. The attorneys stupid enough to represent him in the mountain of defamation lawsuits he's facing are seeking court permission to quit his case. They are owed millions and Lindell isn't finding a hidden stash of cash under his pillow from the tooth fairy. With the added title of  "deadbeat" to his dossier, this POS went on a rant claiming he was a victim of cancel culture and vowed to keep fighting to overturn election - or some delusional shit like that.  Read More

Photo: IMFlip

 

Comment: Ha, ha, ha!  BTW, I think it's hilarious that his MAGA idol isn't coming to his rescue and has distanced himself from this underwear skid mark.

► Wheelchair Jimmy (Govt Name: Drake) who released a new album, For All The Dogs, announced during a radio show that he's taking a break from work. Drake mentioned that he's had stomach problems and wants to take some time to deal with it and other issues. Another artist who is taking a break due to stomach problems is Bruce Springsteen. He had to postponed tour dates due to peptic ulcers (get well Bruce!). Read More

Comment:  I'm sure it has nothing to do with his creepy song about Millie Bobby Brown or critics calling out Drake's below average performance on his new album, while his guest performers are getting praised.  As Rolling Stone writer Mosi Reeves wrote in his review: 

"On “First Person Shooter,” (a song in his new album) he’s not only thoroughly outclassed by J Cole, he (Drake) also raps, “Man, I pack ‘em in these phones like some sardines/And they send me naked pictures, it’s the small things.” It’s one of several desultory lyrics where he (Drake) discusses women like he’s stocking a meat freezer."  Read Full Review

► Sarah Ferguson, the ex-wife of Prince Andrew who enjoys a good toe licking and the occasional scam of selling access to the RF, is desperately trying to land a talk show to help her ex-husband pay his bills. Wait a sec: why doesn't HE get a damn job? Anyway, Sarah met with Amy Rosenblum (former producer of NBC's Today Show) to pitch the idea and begged to do a show. This isn't the first time Sarah has tried her hand at hosting duties. About 15 years ago she filmed a pilot for a show that went nowhere - much like her life. Reports claim the reason Sarah is eager to become a talk show queen is to fund the $2+ million / year in expenses to maintain The Royal Lodge, the place where Prince Andrew is living at. King Chuck tried to evict him but was unsuccessful...for now.  Read More

Photo: Pintrest.com / Jeanne Ash / Apple News

Comment: I gotta ask the obvious: if she gets a show, will her first guest be Prince Pervy? Walmart Wallis? Prince Pringle? If the show takes a Jerry Springer / Steve Wilko / Maury Povich direction, it could be a glorious daytime TV crapfest featuring outcast trashy European royals & richies airing their dirty laundry. Oooh *grabs popcorn*