OPEN POST: Switch Witch is a Crypto Bitch!

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People are freaking out about Switch Witch, so I say let's make it perfect to make sure your kids hate you forever. Introducing the new version to keep up with changing times and will offend no one! Take the fun out of Halloween. Introducing the NEW Switch Witch.

Have you heard of the New Switch Witch? She's a witch who's so tech-savvy that she trades candy for cryptocurrency! Stand Down lame ass Tooth Fairy; there's a new witch in town. Because what every child wants for Halloween is a lesson in cryptocurrency and investing, right? Forget the fun of trick-or-treating and the joy of indulging in some candy. Let's teach our kids about the stock market instead! And who needs toys or money when you can have cryptocurrency? YAY! It's not like kids want to play with physical objects. Plus, let's not forget that Halloween is all about allergies. The Switch Witch is the perfect solution for those kids who can't eat certain ingredients and is very inclusive. So what if your kid grows up resenting you for making them the weird kid in class. Nothing says "fun Halloween" like trading candy for something that's not even tangible. 

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