OPEN POST: With Crabapple Chloe, The Crankiest Gal At Peckerwood Manor!

By

Peckerwood Manor has a complicated history with the popo. Jealous townsfolk sometimes report all kinds of illicit tomfoolery on our grounds, which brings the cops right to our doorstep. Merde! They've never found anything unlawful going on - so far! - just giggles, dancing, elaborate cuisine and a bit of cake baking (if'n you get my drift). It's a minor annoyance to most, but a major one for notorious Manor resident, Crabapple Chloe, the crankiest gal in all of Peckerwood.

Lately, she's taken to riding her motor scooter and squirting local police with mustard, which is not only rude, but a terrible waste of a perfectly innocent condiment, according to Cook. This can't continue. Should you next see her riding her scooter near the police, please cry out, "Knock it off, Crabapple Chloe!" or "I've got your number, hussy!" or "Watch it, hor! No Bendy Boyz™ for you tonight!" After which you should immediately report the matter to Mr. Tristan Spratt, Peckerwood's Butler Manager. Is this tattling? Yes, it is, but the last thing we need are cops crawling up our collective tushies. Thank you for your cooperation. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

PECKERWOOD'S WEEKLY LUNOCRACY POST! For the Week Of 11/18/24!

By
Image
Welcome, chirruns, to the inaugural "Peckerwood's Weekly Lunocracy Post!" post. For the entire week of 11/18/24, you can come here to vent, mock, fling dirt, flash your bits and discuss anything and everything lunocracy worldwide. New posts will follow every Monday.  BTW, to you 'Muricans out there, if you could live anywhere else like many celebutants are doing , where would it be? Me, I'd split my time between  Santorini  and  Amsterdam . But in the meantime, I'm here, and for now, I ain't too happy about it, if'n you get my drift.  Photo Credit: Getty Images
Read more

OPEN POST: PROJECT BABY FACE IS A VANITY DISASTER!

By
Image
I love my headline here. It reads like something out of some shameless 50s tabloid headline about an alien boy hidden away from the world because he has the head of a 4-month-old infant. Well, in his ever more bizarre quest for youth, the disturbed but too rich to go broke in his absurd waste of money, 2 million this year alone, Bryan Johnson has discovered what us vain bitches have known for a while. He could have paid me a cool million to quietly whisper in his ear, "Hey, Bry, loss of fat in your face can age you." No duh? One look at a fat pudge of a baby and an 80-year-old is plenty to prove something obvious, yet this fool and his money part to discover these groundbreaking insights into aging. This genius has a team, and his goal is to "bio" hack aging, having once absconded with the blood of his teenage son to trick his middle-aged cells or some such nonsense. His cells laughed at his ass and refused to change.  Schadenfreude is my oldest friend, and I enjoy
Read more