OPEN POST: Peckerwood Field Trips: The Florida Man Games #2

After the success of the First Annual Florida Man Games, I figured it would be a cultural outing for Manor residents if we descended on St. Augustine next year for the sequel. There will be a dress code that is not of the Palm Beach or Miami elite kind because all of these games are the perfect places to let the tackiest inner you shine. Think Redneck chic. Join us. Neon color clashing is encouraged. Enthusiastic over spray tanning is a plus. Ever secretly want to revisit the 80s and frosted pink lipsticks? Now is the time is the time to think of your wardrobe and start on that mullet. 

The Eat the Butt Contest is one for some people. Ahem. It's Pork Butt, you filthy hors, but some people...Blair...may have to represent the manor and use his particular skills...I didn't mean to write that out loud butt...

Hotmami should represent us in the Weaponized Pool Noodles Mud Contest. The girl is feisty, and I think she would whip ass and win. They may have to halt the games for her expertise at beating men into submission, but Florida Woman Games should be a thing then. We will protest if she isn't allowed to compete. 

The Evading Police Obstacle Course is up for grabs. Any Manor resident would excel at this. Anyone who can run through backyards, jump fences, and hide in bushes is welcome to throw their hat into the ring. 

Category 5 Cash Grab is for Bacon. She would have to grab as much cash as if it were during hurricane winds. I think she could do this easily since she fleeces CVS so thoroughly. Again, the Florida Woman Games should be a contest. Until then, we select who we select. 

Rounding out the games is the Sumo Ring, where you wear a pool doughnut and run into people holding a beer. The point is something about, I don't know, but you get to ram into men at high speeds.