OPEN POST: With The Man Arrested For Stealing "Luxury" Sex Toys!

Recently, a man was arrested for stealing "luxury" sex toys from a suburban St. Louis "Hustler Hollywood" chain store, so-called "luxury" because all of the varied dildos 'n' vibrators 'n' such were priced at $200.00 or more. And here I thought 'lectric bananas were more reasonably priced. But then these toys were made by "Lelo," which claims it's “one of the world’s leading designer brands for intimate lifestyle products!” It's also a Swedish company and you know those Swedes. So much winter, so much free time.

Many questions were not answered in the arrest report, such as: did the perp buy these toys to use on himself, or to use with his partners, or both? And did he use them before he sold them on Facebook Marketplace, which is how he was caught by police? I lean towards "yes." So to those who bought them, dear lort, please wash that strap-on with lots of hot, soapy water before sexytimes. Also, smack yourself upside the face for ordering discounted Swedish sex toys from Facebook Marketplace!

The only good news is that everyone seems to love this particular suburban St. Louis "Hustler Hollywood" store, at least according to their Yelp page, one of which features a picture of the sassy heel above and the caption: "Yaaaaaaas, hunti!" Another reviewer raved: "The cashier was new and very nice. She tested all my equipment before I left! I will be back for all my toy needs." If there was, in fact, "testing" of any kind, then dear lort, I just hope and pray that this satisfied customer washed their double-sided dildo with lots of hot, soapy water before sexytimes.

Photo Credit: Yelp/Hustler Hollywood/St. Louis Natural Bridge Road