OPEN POST: The Internet Is Silly, Or Man Vs. Bear Equals Jack Schlossberg!

Domestic violence, sexual assault, skid-marked undies! These are just a few of the dangers which some straight men perpetrate and possess according to a series of TickTwat viral memes in which women declare that they'd rather spend time in the woods with a bear instead of an unknown man - since a bear will only kill and eat them. They mean a literal bear, not a ghey bear, who'll only binge-watch "Housewives" with them or take them out for cocktails and titters. 

Hilariously, some straight men are missing the point entirely: that women naturally need to be on guard because there's no way of knowing what an unknown guy might do. Duh! Instead, they feel "demeaned" and "attacked." Some have even huffily noted, "There is not enough context to answer this question!" believing that they're being all smarty-like and sagacious. 

Predictably, these same men are now labeling those who choose the bears as "man-haters," along with a coarser word for the phrase, "Lebanese Lawrence Welk Fan." They're also the ones, of course, who say that women are being "neurotic" and "stupid" when they share their location data with friends before going out on dates, or cover their drinks with their hands at bars. In other words, it seems you can't have a simple, one-note discussion about the potential dangers of encountering a strange man alone - whom you don't know! - without many men getting their hackles up. 

Like most Internet memes, the conversation around this one is sometimes humorous, though mostly shallow, from the Captain Obvious group who agree with the premise ("Do you really? Aren't you bold!") to the butthurt who insist that the meme should be revised to say "Not all men!" Fun fact: it was initially inspired by another series of memes in which men were asked which wild animal they thought they could successfully fight off with their bare hands - and a surprising amount chose bears. No, really, like actual bears. Like grizzly bears. Insert *Sure, Jan* gif. All of which leads yours truly to proclaim that, yes, I, too, would rather spend time alone with a bear instead of a strange straight dude, especially if they're of this variety (but without the pesky chlamydia, thank you): 

In the meantime, the Internet moves on - fast - from one skin-deep fixation to another. Which is why Man vs Bear equals Jack Schlossberg. I'm not sure how we've arrived at the doorstep of this allegedly kEwL progressive Kennedy spawn, but is mocking his cousin Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s ridiculous run for President really such a flex? Or baiting the gheys with his "fierce" lip-syncs? Discuss, if you will, how we've ricocheted from fighting bears to choosing bears to choosing a semi-useless, 31-year-old nepo baby thot. Does this mean the end is near, or is it a positive development?