OPEN POST: Snakes Are Doing the Lord's Work

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Some of you may want to sit down for this because I'm about to drop the revelation of a lifetime on you. Apparently Republicans have now exceeded the depths of moral depravity to such an extent that even literal snakes are fed up with their shit! Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, this is certainly unexpected news! Ready the fainting couch!


Doug Skaff, a Republican candidate for West Virginia secretary of state, recently found his ass on the receiving end of a copperhead's serrated fury when he was bitten twice while removing election campaign signs. Currently hospitalized, he sustained bites on both his left leg and right foot Wednesday and has told the media that "his leg has been burning, and he's been in tremendous pain."

When reached for comment, the snake had this to offer:


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