OPEN POST: Peckerwood Field Trip - Finnish Hobby Horse Championships!

Welcome to the whimsical world of Finnish hobby horse racing, where madcap enthusiasts prance around with stick-mounted felt horse heads, leaping over obstacles and performing serious dressage routines without falling over, laughing wildly at their own antics. What started as an eccentric pastime has evolved into a serious sport with international recognition. Okay, international might be strong, but it has a following in Scandi countries and my sometimes beloved UK. But let's not kid ourselves, Peckers—it's also a riotously comical spectacle that has captured the interest of niche of equestrian lovers who are too broke to afford a horse, I mean, serious athletes with a love for wood between...like you people. This is why we are taking a field trip to Finland to watch a competition. We might even get raincoaster to suit up and join in, or one of the other Canadians whose own country has a bloodsport called curling. 

Wrap your pretty heads around this: centuries ago, people were already prancing around with hobby horses. German woodcuts, Spanish paintings, and European traditions like Mummers' Plays featured these stick horses. Fast forward to the late 1900s in Finland, where a few screwball kids decided riding imaginary horses was way cooler than playing video games. Thus, the modern hobby horsing movement was born.

I wish I had known this back in San Francisco. I would have been right at home in Finland with my broom horse. It began when we would come home from visiting my enormously wealthy extended family, where my cousins had stables, horses and ponies, cool equestrian gear, and outfits, and I wanted that, too. I would pitifully beg and plead for a pony to no avail. To illustrate my love for horses, I drew them and made crayon drawings with my pony and me. I had stuffed horses and rode a merry-go-round several times, but it wasn't enough. 

I told them I could keep my pony in my room with my sister; we would pick a little one, and it could sleep in my bed. So, I invented a pretend horse with a broom. I was so dedicated to my broom horse that my mom bought a new broom to be my pony, Pedr. Because my parents are who they are, San Franciscans were treated to the strange sight of a 5-year-old galloping around parks and in the city like a loon, through grocery stores, and even to kindergarten. Some horrible child told me Pedro was stupid, and into the closet he went, heartbroken, but he wasn't real. 6 years old was a year of personal growth and hard truths. It was also when I started to suspect my Barbies were Mexican bootlegs. 

In the early 2000s, Finnish youth began crafting their own hobby horses and organizing informal meets. Social media soon became their playground, where they shared tips, organized events, and showcased their handmade hobby horses. The result? A full-blown hobby horsing craze that spread like wildfire.

Hobby horse racing involves participants using toy hobby horses to mimic equestrian activities. Competitions include show jumping, dressage, cross-country, western riding, and racing. Participants are judged on a range of criteria, including the execution of the activity, coordination with the hobby horse, balance, energy, and body control. This may sound serious, but watching someone gallop around with a stick horse between their legs is undeniably hilarious.

The sport requires athleticism, coordination, and poise. Riders perform jumps and movements themselves, often resulting in comical mishaps. Picture this: a rider attempts a high jump, only to trip and land in a heap, hobby horse still valiantly held aloft. It's like watching a live-action cartoon.

The Finnish Hobbyhorse Championships is the largest event of its kind, attracting thousands of participants and spectators. In 2023, over 1,800 hobby horse enthusiasts worldwide gathered to compete. The 2024 championships, marking the 11th anniversary, were held on June 15 at the Seinäjoki Arena. Participants often craft elaborate and personalized hobby horses, complete with names, breeds, and backstories. The artistic aspect is a significant draw, but let's be honest—the sheer absurdity makes it so entertaining. 

Imagine a group of people galloping around a field, jumping over obstacles, and performing dressage routines with stick horses. It's like a Monty Python sketch come to life. The sport's accessibility allows anyone, regardless of age or background, to participate, making it inclusive and downright uproarious. 

So the elder hooker Peckerites can join in too, so don't be saying you are too old to ride the wood Peckerites, put on your best jodhpurs and boots, and practice! Horse decorating classes will be held in the Arts and Crafts room in the South wing at midnight every Thursday. Why midnight? Because none of us want Valtrex pointing at us and making rude remarks. That's why. 

photos: Sami Kuokkanen