OPEN POST: Wallabies are Ass Kicking Across the UK

Enter the wallaby. So cute. So cuddly. Look at those faces! Awww. And the little joey is begging for a nose kiss. Awww. So sweet. So innocent. I want one, you say. A wallaby would be a welcome addition to my animal kingdom. So adorable. So huggable. 

15 years ago, there was a significant emigration of wallabies to the UK. They were supposed to go to zoos for the most part, but these clever baby kangas had other plans. They were excellent escape artists and decided they liked the UK for an extended adventure. These intrepid wallabies gave their big brown eyes extra sweetness, lulling their caregivers into a false sense of accomplishment.

After they legged it, the wallabies had babies, and their babies had babies, and they are now part of the habitat and wildlife of the UK. You heard me right. Mini kangaroos are all over the place, spotted in the weirdest places. These little hoppity creatures look harmless, but they aren't. A stern warning has gone out to warn Brits about them and to take heed; these babies will kick you. Hard. And that shit will hurt. 

So, if you are ever in the UK and see a pack of wallabies hopping menacingly toward you, I advise you to run. They will chase you hopping like mad little roos hoping to kick your ass and brutalize you until they are sure you know who rules the UK. Not the royals, not the Parliament, not the PM. They do, and you will bow down and never forget it. 

Our Peckerwood Wallaby Miss Aussie Audrey. She only kicks
Grindr boys out after Caza and Ecce are done with them.