OPEN POST: PROJECT BABY FACE IS A VANITY DISASTER!

By

I love my headline here. It reads like something out of some shameless 50s tabloid headline about an alien boy hidden away from the world because he has the head of a 4-month-old infant. Well, in his ever more bizarre quest for youth, the disturbed but too rich to go broke in his absurd waste of money, 2 million this year alone, Bryan Johnson has discovered what us vain bitches have known for a while. He could have paid me a cool million to quietly whisper in his ear, "Hey, Bry, loss of fat in your face can age you." No duh? One look at a fat pudge of a baby and an 80-year-old is plenty to prove something obvious, yet this fool and his money part to discover these groundbreaking insights into aging. This genius has a team, and his goal is to "bio" hack aging, having once absconded with the blood of his teenage son to trick his middle-aged cells or some such nonsense. His cells laughed at his ass and refused to change. 

Schadenfreude is my oldest friend, and I enjoy it almost as much as a well-made French Dip sandwich. I felt its warm embrace as I read about this unmitigated disaster. 

"Johnson shared they opted for “a fat-derived extracellular matrix to restore volume by stimulating my body’s natural fat growth” — a.k.a. injecting fat into the face — as opposed to trying fillers. “It’s possible to use one’s own body fat for this but the problem was I didn’t have enough fat on my body to extract, so I used a donor,” Johnson shared."

This is the result. I cackle, my friends, I cackle. 




Just in case you think I am mean, I am but that is not the point, this gem of a fellow dumped his girlfriend when she was diagnosed with cancer and cheated on her. 

The Gold Standard. 92, fabulous, chic, lively, gorgeous, and her face isn't all swole from putting other people's fat in her face. Carmen.

A youthful 85 here.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

OPEN POST: Merii Kurisumasu めりーくりすます! Or Christmas In Japan Is For Couples!

By
Image
Christmas is celebrated differently in Japan, yet much of it is recognizable. We see beautiful lights, Santas, and  decorated trees, and it is a time for getting together. But it diverges there because Christmas in Japan is for couples.  They exchange gifts and cozy up for romance. Though American food is preferred, KFC is  preferred ; it can get expensive, so they will have tasty Japanese romantic dinners or something delicious and homecooked.  It is common to see couples holding hands flushed with love and happiness. It is like Valentine's Day except on Decemeber 25th. Only about 2% of the Japanese people call themselves Christians, so it would make sense to carve out their own traditions and make this holiday something unique to them and reflects their culture.  Christmas Eve is for  kurisumasu ke—ki , a sweet sponge cake with filling, but the next day is for dressing up, making fancy dinner reservations, and staring into the eyes of your "ride or d...
Read more

OPEN POST: Manor Music Monday With Barbara Cartland!

By
Image
Are you off work yet? Are you ready to throw a swingin' party? That means making party music mixes, right? And, yes, you must throw in a WTF song in the middle of the mix just to mess with everyone. For example, say you're throwing a New Years Eve party with a bunch of cooler-than-cool jazz or house music tracks; in the middle if it, throw in this song . I guarantee everyone will squeal with delight. In fact, throwing that song into any mix is always a good move.  Want more ideas for WTF songs to drop into your mixes? DJ Li'l Scratch has got you covered. But first, let's pause for a moment. This is important. Why? Because this is the definition of beauty: The face: like a pale, English Cream Custard (which is just a bit overcooked). The jewelry: made from the finest diamonelles money can buy. The eyes: with their exquisite baby tarantula eyelashes (the eye shadow is their after-birth). I'm overcome, I can barely breathe. And, no, this is not RichBitch. She is, of c...
Read more