OPEN POST: WTF and HTF and FFS! MRI Mayhem And A Sex Toy.

Innocent people who like to live without the knowledge that their fellow man is made up of people with unusual, bizarre fetishes, read no further. Save yourself. ABORT! DISENGAGE! I am warning you. If you want to stay a sweet summer child, leave the article. Go and forget this article even exists. 

Okay then, if you insist.


A woman suffered serious injuries and was left screaming in agony when, after her MRI, the tech began pulling the table out. She started howling like a banshee, which I am sure the tech found alarming or maybe not. Maybe he or she thought, Oh shit, another one? Why today? Today is my Friday, and I don't need one of you people coming in here with your perversions and depravity. Or maybe he or she just sighed, ambled over to the phone, and said in the receiver We have a TIR, thing-in- rectum or perhaps straight to the point AFWFOIA, which phonetically sounds a little like a strange ancient language butt (sorry, I had to) means another-fool-with-foreign-object-in-ass.  

So this female genius decides going to get an MRI is the perfect time to insert a sexy butt plug as one often does during routine scans for extra titillation. Who hasn't, right? Ha ha, she said to herself as she slid into the MRI. I have a plug in my butt, and no one knows. Giggle, Giggle, Smirk, Smirk. However, this MENSA member failed to realize that in the middle of the silicone are metallic materials, and an MRI is magnetic. 

No, she didn't get pinned to the side of the machine. That would have been preferable to what happened. As she was being pulled out, the sex toy shot up into her chest cavity, causing her to have to be rushed to the hospital. The patient reported feeling nauseous, in pain, and like she was going to pass out. I want to know if it was from the object or extreme humiliation? A complete pretend blackout is one way to avoid what must come next. How do you tell them? How do you form the words? You have to say it to them. You can't lie because they will eventually see it, so come clean and try valiantly to play it off. You will fail, but there aren't many choices left to you, are there? You may as well go down with a tiny invisible molecule of dignity intact. 

Photo of butt plug MRI of butt in the wrong place

What happened to Kinky Kathy afterward, you ask? Well, that remains a mystery. She never returned the phone calls from the radiologist who had examined her before calling the ambulance. So we will never know if she is still plugging away undeterred or if she stopped her sphincter hijinks altogether. 

Oh, and by the way, shoving things in the ass cavity is on the rise, with men in their 20s and 60s leading the pack with ER visits to get a variety of objects removed. I thought I would leave with that gem. 


Peckerwood's Weekly Lunocracy Post is RIGHT HERE.

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