She Can't Help Herself: Blake Lively the Wannabe A List Superstar.

I am always searching for pop culture happenings to see if anything piques my interest, and lo and behold, something has. Just when I think this story will die on the vine, it doesn't, and it grows and twists, which is rare in an era of hyperpublicists and iron-fisted curation of celebrity narratives and images. Stories like this require a perfect recipe of timing, luck, and a stubborn cast of players whose room-reading skills are shockingly horrible. Topped with a heavy dollop of gargantuan ego and a pinch of recklessness, garnished with entitlement, this dish is still simmering on the stove. 

This story has been developing for months, with recent news that Blake Lively plans to testify in her ill-conceived case against Justin Baldoni next year. Baldoni is counter-suing for hundreds of millions and leaking salacious tidbits to the press, feeding the news cycles with fresh red meat. His astute team has taken the temperature and knows we need a distraction from the bleak political landscape and something else to discuss beyond the lunatic in DC. 

At this point, I have some thoughts and a few simple questions. Who the hell are Blake's people? Seriously. I want to know who these inept people are, and then commence to do the sign of the cross, because how they recover from this debacle will take enormous skill, luck, and copious amounts of holy water and prayers. Hey, maybe the new Pope has a couple of hottakes. At this point, Lively needs the Trinity to get her out of this and the Virgin Mary to take pity on her wretched soul. 

Feel free to correct me, but isn't her team paid to ensure she doesn't make poor career-ending decisions? Shouldn't they be putting the brakes on the madness and derailing that runaway crazy train? Why aren't they telling her she is only stacking up more losses, exposing her worst, most repulsive qualities, and confirming what many of us already knew? Who is actually surprised that Blake stepped in the shit? It is her leading talent that, up until now, has cost her nothing and nothing had stuck to her. Blake had a little Teflon Brad Pitt's magic and annoyingly skated free. Repeatedly. I thought she might be the All-American Prom Queen to his Prom King, like Ken and Barbie, or something out of Aryan propaganda posters from 1939.

And yet.  How could I be so naive? I overlooked some important details. Lively is not a party of one. This trick comes with an accomplice. Of course, Leslie Sloane (their PR "guru") and crew must have told Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds to sit down, shut up, and ride out the storm. Surely, they have. However, I should know by now that she and Ryan are feverishly busy cooking up these appalling schemes in pathetic attempts to salvage their imaginary A-plus film careers. These superheroes will clean up the mess and destroy Baldoni, and things will return to normal. I picture them in bed, side by side at night, staring at the ceiling, still reeling, and brainstorming over their next genius move that involves getting some attention and acting stronger than ever. These two live on attention like some of us live on oxygen. Ryan's disastrous attempts to win back the public seem endless, cringeworthy, and lack self-reflection and home truths. Look, folks, he's no Brad, which begs the question. Has no one told him? 

Truly, how do these levels of delusion happen to celebrities? Drugs? When does it go wrong, and what precipitates it? Why doesn't this happen more often? In this case, this charmless duo is under the impression that they are beloved by legions of fans. They just have to show us their point of view, and we will all get it and fall back in "something" with them. Who will tell them they have never been universally beloved, didn't have legions of rabid fans, and that their tepid box office receipts should be an enormous clue? 

What about Deadpool? Of course, this must be addressed because it is a bona fide blockbuster that rakes in millions of dollars worldwide. This is a valid question. But superhero movies succeed because there is a built-in audience, and they are hardly roles that challenge actors to stretch themselves. Deadpool would have been a hit regardless of who wore the costume. Reynolds got very lucky here because, other than Deadpool, his career has been a long list of unremarkable films. Seventy percent of his cumulative Worldwide Box Office success comes from Deadpool. And his career started in the early-mid 90s, which mathematically says what I don't have to. 

The A-list actors of his generation, like Leonardo DiCaprio, outearned him by about forty percent without Deadpool, Pokémon, and Fast and Furious. Whatever one thinks about Leo DiCaprio, he has had a steady career in some memorable films (except that horrible The Revenant, Oscar Bait, and torturous to sit through). Ryan has never made a single film that I was told was amazing, and I have seen maybe 4 or 5? Not for him, sometimes by accident, on a flight or something. He doesn't put asses in the theatre seats and he is not in demand. In the old days, he would have been a television celebrity, and the silver screen would have been a no-go. Before streaming and cable, no studio would have poured that much money into B films pretending to be much more than they are. The stench of box office bombs used to stick to actors' careers like they fell into a port-a-potty at the Fyre Festival. 

My choice to open the article with Ryan might seem confusing. You may wonder this since this article is about Blake, not Reynolds. Partially because he has decided to step out with her and promote a united front as they parade around like all is well, that makes him fair game. And he is said to have used his clout and connections to underscore this mess. He can try to distance himself, but it is too late since he brought people from Deadpool to rewrite someone else's script on someone else's film without their permission. Who does this? That's like someone sneaking into your house and redecorating your living room. 

Furthermore, Ryan is the source of many of Blake Lively's imaginings that she is a top-tier mega superstar and the Hollywood wife of a superstar mega-thespian slash comedian. Those two were long overdue for a rude awakening. They were getting too smug and self-important, and part of their crime was that they couldn't hide their sense of entitlement or raw ambition. Blake had been given far too many chances after her misguided antics and controversies. Neither has ever endeared themselves to the public like they think they have, so all someone had to do was give them a light shove, and off their self-built pedestal, over the cliff they tumbled, hitting the ground head first.

Only, it could be that they have not smashed into the ground hard enough. These two numbskulls can't take stock and perceive the obvious, and they refuse to even try. This couple keeps attending events to remind us that we once loved them, but again, this needs to be said many times: we didn't. What exactly are they trying to re-establish? Remember the SNL Anniversary disaster that should have been a rude wake-up call? Celebrities avoided them like a scourge and had scathing things to say about their outrageous, idiotic appearance. Most people would have lain low for a while to let the dust settle and re-emerge later, and would have stopped this ill-advised lawsuit after that would be a wake-up call. 

Over these months, Blake's attorney has tried to tease us with vague promises to get the whole story out there, and a bombshell awaited. Yet, they played their cards early, accusing Justin Baldoni of fat-shaming, skeevy behavior, and sexual harassment. We thought maybe there are receipts, though I wondered why they suddenly had this claim when anyone would have led with this to shut it all down. It seemed convenient, and Baldoni had credible rebuttals and was ready for retribution and to bring some scorched earth into the mix. As a result, Justin's attorneys now have their feet on their necks and press harder with every leak and every bit of information they ham-handedly feed to the press. If I were them, I would stop before they put the boot in and close off their airways altogether. 

In preparation for writing this article, I spent time reading the comment sections of various gossip sites to see what people have been saying and to take the temperature of a sample of the public. Over and over I read that Blake is Amber Heard 2.0 or she is going to Fuck Around and Find Out or she is not believable and is a huge liar and a terrible actress. These commenters are not only gleefully negative, but enormous schadenfreude is involved. As far as I can ascertain, her reputation isn't just taking a beating; this is a certified bloodbath. This is the kind of character dissection that is becoming a consensus. Over and over, she has been outmaneuvered by Justin's team, who are astute enough to recognize hubris and her privileged, pretty-girl level of intelligence. If the pretty girl is blonde, white, blue-eyed, and young, she can be out of control and obnoxious with her blind lack of understanding of her limitations.

Having been coddled, sought after, and plied with compliments and an ease of life can lead some beautiful women to believe they have higher IQs than they actually do, and they will often regard themselves as far cleverer and brighter than they are. They think the bounty of gratis and largesse they experience is not based on their looks but is actually given based on traits they covet but do not possess. "No" is not in their lexicon, and they have been indulged to such an extent that they think they are also special on the inside because they have been told this lie since they could talk. These women might think they are geniuses, rare talents, or great at the things they aren't. Let me put it like this: perceived beauty is a commodity more potent than intelligence because it is unearned, elusive, and desired by everyone. You can see someone is attractive, but it takes time to know they are smart. All Blake has to do is be average, and she will be seen as much more than that. Supposedly, she is the opposite of the dumb blonde stereotype of the past; unfortunately, she clearly is not. 

Being vindictive is not cunning, manipulative is not strength, and trying to crush someone you believe is inferior is a recipe for disaster if your blind spots are as vast as Blake's. Why would anyone but a self-deluded fool push this thing this far? Only someone who has been spoiled and indulged. Only those who are sloppy in their observations, and whose arrogance is actually their Achilles' Heel, would think they could burn bridges into ashes and still be loved. They never supposed their victim might be a rabid wolf with as much ambition, ego, and scrap and fight as Justin has. He isn't rolling over. And he has proxies that are bare-knuckle street fighters, so it will be a long year for her with more titillating tidbits leaking out like a sieve. 

However, in a way, this isn't as shocking as it seems since over the years, these adjectives have been associated with her from different sources: some people who know of her, online articles, secondhand stories, and watching her in interviews: unlikeable, out of touch, egotistical, prickly, selfish, nasty, phoney, fame climber, bully, conceited, bossy, pushy, racist, attention vampire and on and on on the negative list. But to be fair, her Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants co-stars rushed to her defense and were vocal about her positive attributes: fun, generous, down-to-earth, kind, and loyal. Perhaps she is all the negatives with the positives; these things can exist in one person. However, if she believes you are helpful for her career, her equal, or someone she views as superior in stature, she displays the more positive side of herself than the less positive side. Cue that interview with the journalist where she blatantly freezes her out to curate an awkward moment and to make the journalist feel inferior and stupid.

I didn't come up with these observations from a lack of examples. Who in their right mind would vociferously defend Woody Allen? Who? Blake Lively, that's who. Who in their right mind would harken back to the days of the antebellum South when the discourse about Gone With the Wind has been increasingly hostile? The Brain Trust Lively, that's who. Surely she didn't defend Harvey Weinstein. No one in their right mind would have. However, let me introduce you to Miss Blake Lively, who was betting on him recovering his power so she could endear herself, get on his good side, and get catapulted into the A-list where she doesn't belong. Over and over she has stepped her big size 11s in the shit and sailed on oblivious to all of us on the sidelines folding our arms, shaking our heads and waiting for the public to catch up with what we can see so plainly. Blake is an asshole. 

In this ridiculous Waterloo of a trajectory, Ryan and Blake thought they had the clout to make a lesser star capitulate to their demands. They thought they could force and intimidate Baldoni with threats to ruin him and his career if he didn't give them what they grossly and unfairly demanded. When he hesitated, they started their campaign. They didn't bet on pushback because these two think they are a power couple. 

To ensure that I wasn't just being biased, I asked an AI: What makes a celebrity an A-list star? I wanted to see if I was being too harsh, and these two had reasons to presume that they are what they clearly crave. 

Consistent Box Office Success: A-listers are typically those whose presence in a film guarantees a strong return on investment. Neither of these two can claim this. 

Cultural Impact: Their influence extends beyond the movies they star in, shaping trends and conversations. Blake wishes she were a Fashion Icon. She is one of the "I style myself" celebrities. We know, girl. We can tell. 

Household Name Recognition: They are instantly recognizable and known by a large audience. My very unscientific polling of older relatives says No, and younger relatives gave me an even louder No. They know Deadpool, but they don't know Ryan outside of it. I asked them if they knew Blake Lively. Yeah, isn't she the actress in that drama now? What else, I really didn't expect such an adverse reaction.. She's a bad actress. What about them both? My 23-year-old cousin by marriage said I don't know, aren't they just two basic American actors? 

High-Profile Productions: A-listers are typically involved in significant, high-budget projects. Deadpool. 

Bankability: Their name alone attracts audiences and investors. No

Strong Brand Endorsements: A-listers are often sought after by major brands for endorsements. Not Blake for sure. Ryan's Deadpool character? It is a stretch, but I am being kind. 

Media Attention: They consistently generate positive press and coverage in major publications. Hahahaha. These days, they couldn't buy a positive headline. 

Critical Acclaim: While not always the sole determinant, critical acclaim for their performances can further solidify their A-list status. Neither has ever been a critical darling. Okay, now Chat GPT, no need to be snobbish and vicious. I didn't say it. AI did. 

Over the next year, I predict the mud slinging will continue, and while Lively's team will throw pebbles, Baldoni's will catapult boulders, and they promise that. They aren't afraid and will drip drip drip until they water torture her and pulverize what is left of Lively's credibility. In a stroke of pure genius, Justin's team plans to subpoena Taylor Swift, which will be her worst nightmare, and I wouldn't be surprised if Swift tries to get out of it. Taylor is allergic to dramatic entanglements that might hurt her reputation or link her to something as toxic as this. The kicker is that it is alleged that she blames Lively for this. Their friendship has been in the deep freezer since her name became linked to this avoidable spectacle. Blake doubled down because that's what she does. 

Taylor has axed her best friend out of her life after a final move of Blake allegedly threatening her unless she comes out and says positive things about her. She wanted to coerce Taylor to take action and possibly be the diversion she desperately needs right now. It is yet another example of Blake scorching the earth and leaving nothing in its wake to rely on or garner support. Mrs. Reynolds, I guess, doesn't mind deranged Swifties making voodoo dolls of her and stabbing them repeatedly to make her pay and rue the day she ever betrayed their dear leader. 

As of this writing, Ryan is still in the soup, and after a disastrous PR stunt on Conan O'Brien, he is only making his situation worse. The audience called it out for what it was: a bona fide attempt to switch the paradigm and come out smelling like roses. In his mind, it was an opportunity for the public to separate him from this mess and charm people into seeing him as less connected to this debacle. The response was a resounding cringey failure. 

What new thing will come out next? What revelation will be leveled? There are threats from Baldoni's side that they have more receipts. If I were Blake Lively, I would get honest with myself, ask myself some tough questions, swallow my pride, and walk away from this nuclear bomb that has dropped on my career and reputation. But Lively can't believe she can lose. She has a deep sense that she is special, and special never loses. Should someone let Pretty Girl Blake know she already has? 

So, we are treated with another year of this drama before the court date, as this will drag on, and I wonder if this will be like the Depp/Heard circus that left Heard without any credibility and with legions of people hating her and outing her for her slanted takes and lack of self-awareness. I am not wading into Depp's mess, but will this be like that? I suspect it will, and I believe there is no way in the world that Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds win. That scenario's possibility sailed months ago. I cannot claim to be sorry. Sometimes the Pretty Girl needs to lose; sometimes, like in this case, it has been a long time coming. 

photos:Getty, film stills, Wire Image