EVENING NIGHTCAP: Add ICEman To Dean's Resumé. Claire's Is Circling The Drain. Fire Your Stylist Nelly.

 

 

►Actor and MAGA bootlicker Dean Cain (Govt Name: Dean Tanaka) traded in his cape, leotards, and girdle for a police baton, zip ties, and ski mask to become an ICE agent. Dean is a proud card-carrying member of MAGA and wants to rid the USA of illegal immigrants. Dean is 1/2 Japanese and claims to be proud of his heritage but uses "Cain" (step dad's name) and not the family name "Tanaka". Gee, I wonder if it's because he realized that passing himself off as faux Anglo would open more career doors. Anyway, he fully supports the militant, brutish actions of ICE agents. Yes folks, this asswipe who has said in past interviews he had family locked up in interment camps during WW2 because of racism and xenophobia wants to do the same to immigrants today. Dean wants to do his part to support the head of US Homeland Security, ICE Barbie Kristi Noem, by immersing himself as the agency's mouthpiece to recruit ICE agents, among other things. He'll probably be tasked with brushing ICE Barbie's hair and serving as her on-call caped crusader to pick up glue for her extensions. Actor and comedian John Leguizamo had the best comment: Read More

"What kind of loser volunteers to be an ICE officer?” Leguizamo said in a brief video. “What a moron. Dean Cain, your pronouns are has/been.”

Comment:  I cackled at John's comment that Dean's pronouns should be "has/been". A perfect description for this untalented blob. SM wants to boycott Dean but let's face it: what's there to boycott? His awful straight to video films? Anyhoo, he should start by arresting himself for bad acting and abuse of Just For Men Hair color. 

John Leguizamo and Dean Cain, undated. Photo: Getty Images/Deadline.com

► If you got your ears pierced in the 1990's, there's a good chance you had it done at Claire's. Claire's has been the go-to place for ear piercing and cheap costume jewelry. Well, the end is near for this mall staple. The company filed for bankruptcy, again. This time if it doesn't find a new sugar daddy, they will be forced to cease all operations and liquidate inventory. That means you can buy a $2.00 mood ring for $1.00! Claire's has about 2,300 stores and 13,000 employees. They tried hocking their wares online but a big chunk of their money comes from ear piercing. Their attempt at online hobagging has been a bigger loser than Dean Cain. According to overpaid Wall Street analysts, a big problem for Claire's has been the death spiral of malls. They are no longer the place for teens to hang out like a Beverly Hills 90201 episode. Their customers are teens who can't legally drive and if they could, wouldn't be caught in a mall anyway. Seriously who goes to a mall anymore beside the geriatric crowd for indoor walks.  Read More

Photo: Don & Melinda Crawford/UCG/Universal Images Group via Getty Images/Forbes.com

Comment: I got my ear piercing the old fashion way: using an ice cube and a needle. That's how my friends and I did it. Looking back, I'm surprised we didn't get infected. We took precautions like sterilizing the needle with matches and using alcohol. We were dumb ass kids. It hurt like hell. Nowadays, you can buy an automatic ear piercing gizmo from Amazon. IMO, I don't see Claire's pulling themselves out of this mess. Add them to the pile of corporate bankruptcies: Party City, Bed Bath & Beyond, The Body Shop, Forever 21, JoAnn, Rite Aid, Dean & Deluca, David's Bridal, and Big Lots (just to name a few from the past few years). 

 

 ► For her appearance at the Boardmasters Festival, singer Nelly Furtado (47) decided to wear dorm pillows, camo patterned hot pants, and sunglasses from the Grace Jones eyewear collection. Oh, let's not overlook the Nancy Sinatra boots that found themselves walking into an argument between a hot glue gun and a roll of aluminum foil. Nelly needs to fire her stylist STAT. Read More

Comment: In her attempt to be edgy and keep up with the music industry's flavor of the month Sabrina Carpenter and her no pants trend, Nelly ended up looking like an olive who jumped out of a dirty martini and into a bag of grass clippings. Pull yourself together, hon. If you can't afford a stylist, then take a page out of the Steve Jobs style book: a black tshirt, black jeans, and black shoes. Easy-peazy.

Nelly Furtado. Photo: Splash / The Sun UK