EVENING NIGHTCAP: "We Don't Know You" - Chanel Security Guards To JLo. Speaking Of "We Don't Know You"...Walmart Wallis Birthday Edition.

 

► As I'm waiting to find out if a work project is a go or no go, I wasted time perusing the internet when this little gem caught my fanciful eye. A few days ago Jennifer Lopez-Noa-Judd-Almost Affleck-Anthony-Almost Rodriguez-Affleck-TBD was denied entry at a Chanel store in Istanbul. In case you care, the serial divorcée was there as part of her euro trash "Up All Night" tour. That's the reboot of her "This Is Me...Now" world tour she cancelled last year because of poor ticket sales. While in Europe, JLo has been performing at quaint venues including a 2,000 seating capacity ballroom at a health spa in Turkey. Not even Europeans want to see her. Anyway, JLo took some time off to blow her earnings. She thought that she could parade into at Chanel store and they would fling the doors open welcoming her with champagne flutes and caviar. WRONG. Security guards (in their best Mariah Carey voice) said, "We don't know you" and turned her away. When news about the snub go out (I'm sure JLo and her manager leaked it to the media), the Chanel store manager privately invited her back. Then, in classic Vivian from Pretty Woman, JLo responded by refusing the invitation and instead went to other boutiques.  Read More

Jennifer Lopez at Istanbul, Turkey, 2025. Photo: Backgrid/ People.com

Comment: I've always thought JLo lives in a perpetual state of a rom-com movie. Who the hell knows what's going on in that vessel she calls a brain. This incident  gave me an idea to re-imagine Pretty Woman to reflect the  social mess we're living in. In my 2025 version, Vivian shows up at a minor emergency clinic. She twisted her ankle while drunk dancing wearing stilettos on the deck of an oligarch's yacht ever since she upgraded from Edward in the original movie. A doctor tells her, "I don't know you. I don't care who you are or what your rich boyfriend does. If you don't have health insurance you need to leave now".  

 

► Speaking of "I Don't Know You", last week was Walmart Wallis's 44th birthday. You'd think with all the A+ list friends she and Temu Edward claim to have, the Montecito domestic diva would have been showered with well wishes from them. Nope. No one and I mean NO ONE from her circle of so-called friends said anything. Not Tyler Perry. Not Serena Williams. Not Ellen or Oprah. Not Mindy Kaling. Not even the Queen's corgi's who were busy digging a hole to bury a copy of "Spare". The only BD tribute paid to Meghan came from Megan herself. It was written in the third person (by Megan, no doubt) on her "As If" - oops, As Ever official IG account. See below:  Read More

In a gushing post from her own As Ever lifestyle brand, a black and white photo of a smiling Markle was captioned, "Celebrating the woman behind it all. She pours her heart, vision & magic touch into every detail, and today, we raise a glass to her! Happy birthday to our founder @meghan".

Photo: As Ever IG

Comment:  Walmart Wallis cranked up the pathetic level to 11 with that pretentious happy BD post to herself. Damn, if you can't get Mindy Kaling to wish you a HB that's really bad. Then again, Mindy is washing her hands of Walmart Wallis since she demanded that Mindy refer to her as Duchess of Sussex on her Netflix show. Speaking of Netflix, she managed to cajole them into giving her another chance. Insiders are saying it's a limited agreement and she's being paid peanuts compared to the previous contract. Also, Netflix is an investor in her As Fuck products (oops, I mean As Ever) from contract #1.  Netflix execs still think they can make Megan happen.