Peckerwood Manor

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from our own beloved  Kombitcha!

Huzzah! It's Black History Month. And your happy neighborhood Bendy Boy™ couldn't be more excited. Let's celebrate the Peckerwood way by being shallow AF. To wit:  Who's your favorite black celebrity (living or not)?  There's leeway here. They don't have to be American. By way of example, this could be who you consider the most bangable (Michael B. Jordan and Idris Elba leap to mind) or admirable (everyone j'adores Viola Davis and Coco Gauff) or simply who you'd like to hang with on the regular (who doesn't want to get their wine on with Tracee Ellis Ross or knock back some shots with Daniel Kaluuya?).  And, please, wiggas don't count, so don't even with Justin Timberlake or you shall be reported, flogged and banned - then forced to listen to Justin's latest album six times in a row. Harsh? I don't think so.  Don't be shy. And don't worry if your answer is trashy. This is Peckerwood Manor, after all. You're safe. In fact...

It's 10am, but Hannah Harlowe Hapenny has only just woken up. She's starting the day right with a wee glass of vino, and why not? Hump Day, as everyone knows, is a special day at Peckerwood Manor, where debauchery is encouraged for one and all.  Hanna  Harlowe Hapenny  has long had her eye on Manor resident Ba-Buttons. You see, like a straight ballet dancer - they're like unicorns! - Ba-Buttons is that rare Manor species, a genuine, coochie-loving straight guy. Which means like a fox in a henhouse, he has his pick of all the straight ladies. Is this fair? Of course not! But it's the reality for Manor ladies who,  yes, very much enjoy dancing and drinking and exchanging waxing tips with Bendy Boyz™, but when the lights are low, prefer a man with a very serious case of the muffin munchies.  Will Hanna Harlowe Hapenny finally nab her man? She's making herself up real pretty, and wearing a top which shows off the girls. Maybe one more glass of vino? For courage? Sur...

If you're 'Murican, your long holiday weekend is just about over, which means work starts up again on Monday. Sad emoticon and suchlike. On the plus side, you've hopefully had time to be a lazy little cuss like Peckerwood Manor resident, Miss Edie, whose been lolly-gagging around the near-empty manse, flirting with the raccoons outside and the many cats (inside and out).  But what about you, fellow manor mate? Did you hit up Black Friday sales? If so, were you mauled? Are you still alive? Did you putter about the house aimlessly? Maybe got a little gardening in? Or perhaps you enjoyed multi-cocktail brunches with friends. Perhaps you're still at one. If so, have a drink on me. Have several!  If you've been contending with loud chirruns, you have my deepest sympathies. Please know that we have plenty of Manor-manufactured Tyke Tranquilizers™ for your use and sanity once you're back (the chocolate flavor is limited, so do call ahead). Or maybe you're stuck at ...