Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than all those nasty couch cushion crumbs you've yet to vacuum up, so they need all the moisture they can get. First up, someone forgot to tell me that April was Clam Bumping Month™, because this week, not one, but two, female tarlets proudly announced that they're Lawrence Welk fans, if'n you get me drift. The first, Sophia Bush, a 40-ish actress formerly married to someone named Chad Michael Murray, and someone else named Grant Hughes, made headlines by announcing that her new lesbean lover is retired soccer star, Ashlyn Harris.  "Sophia Bush Hard-Launches New Relationship!" announced The Daily Beast  in a boner-shock headline that missed the ham wallet point by a mile. But whatevs. Welcome to the alphabet club, Sophia. Is Sophia thirsty? I don't think so, since she's not simultaneously promoting a new book, album, or sex toy...

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than that busted, six-year-old sleeve of Ritz Crackers you forgot about in the back of your kitchen cabinet, so they need all the moisture they can get. Let's start with Griffin Dunne. What is a Griffin Dunne, you may ask (especially if you're under 40)? Pull up a seat, darlin', I'll tell you. Griffin is an unattractive nepo-baby producer and sometime-actor born of  Dominick Dunne, a  celebrated author and late-in-life ghey, and Ellen, Dominick's activist/wife. His sister Dominique was tragically murdered as a teenager, which drove Dominick's later work as a true-life crime writer, most notably concerning the O.J. Simpson trial. Griffin's also the nephew of writer Joan Didion, so, yeah, despite his face, which I shall charitably describe as guinea pig-like, he managed to use his connections to star in a few decent movies in the 1...