A sTORI For Our Times! Former 80s "Actress" Recovering From Mystery Hospital Visit!
Tori Spelling, looking like an overgrown blonde sloth in a wheelchair - apologies to sloths! - was released from the hospital yesterday after a 4-day stay. Or rather, she was wheeled out in full view, but not before "someone" helpfully alerted the paps to this momentous event. What was this former so-called "actress" turned reality "star" (turned whatever she is now) even doing there, you ask? Ah, but this is a mystery wrapped in overdue notices from AMEX wrapped in leftover umbilical cords wrapped in whatever meemaw caftan couch cover her friend is cloaked in above, not to mention the other friend's pink fupa mom jeans. There's almost too much fashion here. And too many mysteries. Let's try to figure this out with Detective LaToya's help. As you may know, Tori and her husband, "actor" Dean McDermott, recently broke up because Tori allegedly grew weary of Dean's sex addition, a sentence I never thought I'd write because i...
