Peckerwood Manor

Florence Ballard - American singer and founding member of the Supremes - (1943-1976) Nicole Franzel - American tv personality - 32 Allegra Versace - Italian-American heiress and socialite - 38 Michael Phelps - American former competitive swimmer - 39 Fantasia Barrino - American singer and actress - 40 Cheryl - English singer and tv personality - 41 Angela Sarafyan - Armenian-American actress - 41 Patrick Wolf - English singer-songwriter - 41 Willam Belli - American singer-songwriter - 42 Lizzy Caplan - American actress - 42 Rick Gonzalez - American actor - 45 Molly Parker - Canadian actress, writer and director - 52 Monica Potter - American actress - 53 Phil Anselmo - American musician, member of Pantera and Down - 56 Peter Outerbridge - Canadian actor - 58 Mike Tyson - American professional boxer - 58 Deirdre Lovejoy - American actress - 62 Murray Cook - Australian musician, actor and DJ - 64 Vincent D’Onofrio - American actor and filmmaker - 65 David Alan Grier - American

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than a crumbling wine cork between an overflowing Dumpster and a leased Chevy Trax behind an off-ramp 7-11, so they need all the moisture they can get. First, we have perpetual thirsty gal, Gwyneth Paltrow , who's an expert at gaining attention, what with her vagina-scented candles (did she ever say whose vagina it smelled like? Was it  Oprah's vagina? Justin Timberlake's ?  That Damn Judi Dench's ?). Then there's her instructions on how to yawn properly (yes, she insists, you're doing it wrong; I'm assuming it's all about opening wide-wide-wide, like giving a blowie to The Hammaconda ); how to speak kind words to water before drinking it (to encourage it's "good molecular structure") (huh?); and how to pump oxygen with a catheter up your b-hole, followed by a deep, spiritually-uplifting coffee enema (the latte