Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than a rock-hard crouton that fell from your salad to the kitchen floor three months ago and was nose-butted, then ignored, by your adorable cat - who dearly wishes you'd sweep once in a while, goddammit - so they need all the moisture they can get.  First, behold before and after pics of Brad Pitt , the left from 2022, the right from 2023. Subtle? Yes, I'd say so, especially since many aging male stars lately look as if they've gotten their faces smoothed out on an ironing board. By the way, I'm not starting off this week's post with needless digressions. I simply want to point out that Brad very much cares about his money-making puss - which means that he does, in fact, care about things. No, really. Like all those poor, destitute Hurricane Katrina victims in... oh, wait . Does Brad care about his children? For sure, and definitely mor

It seems that in the past month, we had two similar stories about Jacob Elordi and Brad Pitt, but Henry Cavill also told us something that kind of tickles my funny bone. Jacob and Brad may have anger issues, prone to being volatile in one instance and violent in the other. Which one is violent? Hmmm. One allegedly has a fuel truck in his past, and pulled a whiskey-fueled, sloppy Wendy O. Williams while screaming "Fuuuck Yooouuu Angieeeeee!" at the top of his lungs. At least that is how I picture it. The other tried to strangle a producer after a harmless yet provocative joke. And Henry, why he's positively prudish about sex scenes and clutches his man pearls when things get too hot in a movie. Imagine that. Two thugs and a prig.  Jacob needs to start meditating or smoking weed around the clock; this brute tried to choke a producer, shoving him against a wall, then demanded that he erase the video evidence showing, at the very least, that he has no sense of humor. I mean,