Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, sloots, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are particularly embalmed and in need of moisture.  First, we have Tori Spelling, so go ahead, cue the "Tori" gags, i.e. "SupposiTORI" and "Sob sTori" and "Barely AmbulaTORI," etc. Now that we've got that out of the way, brace yourselves, because the press are once more delivering urgent missives (fed to them by Tori). And, yes, I eagerly read them all, 'cause she's the low-hanging, Tupperware-tittied Dumpster fire I've long adored and I shan't apologize for it.  This never-ending slop-tart saga seemed to reach a nadir when Tori packed up her chirruns and left sleazy, money-grubbing Deaner.  But lo, Tori's opus continued to offer delirious twists and turns. This included an extended stay with her crotch-droppings at a mangy RV park, then at several dilapidated, $100-a-week roadside hotels. And this was after tox...

When it rains it pours. Where there's smoke there's fire. Pick your cliche. But six more alleged victims - and perhaps more - have stepped forward, all of them making the exact same claims made just one week ago by the dancers who sued Lizzo for sexual harassment, fat shaming and creating a hostile work environment.  Also just one week ago? Stars as varied as Li'l Nas X, Jamie Lynn Spears, Kelly Osborne, Jennifer Garner, Jameela Jamil and drag performer Kahanna Montrese expressed their unwavering support for Lizzo, the latter exclaiming on Twitter, "Lizzo created one of the most uplifting shows I've ever been a part of. Please don't let this define you, Lizzo!" But has it already? Will it be so easy to forget the charge that Lizzo purportedly ordered her dancers to eat a banana protruding from a stripper's vagina? Or reportedly forbad the dancers from taking bathroom breaks during a torturous, hours-long "re-audition?" And will it be so easy ...

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