Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than OJ's crusty prostrate, so they need all the moisture they can get. First up, let's talk about Matthew Perry, who's still dead, by the way, and still making headlines, which relatively young, famed, has-been drug addicts from your fledgling years are wont to do upon their demise. When Matthew kicked it, a large chunk of Gen X felt their mortality and obsessively played and re-played the "Friends" episode where he delivers the laugh line, "I guess I'll be the one who dies first!" It was hilarious at the time. Oh, so long ago. Misty, watercolored memories. If you're a little younger, he's that guy on that show without cellphones that you binged repeatedly on Netflix, playing it in the background while you texted and played Pokemon Unite, until it was yanked and put on Max which you refuse to subscribe to but wat...

   Matthew Perry, 2002. Photo: NBC Universal / Getty Images Actor Matthew Perry, best known for his role as Chandler Bing in the 1990's TV sitcom, Friends, has died. He was 54. Cause of death was accidental drowning in a hot tub. Official results are pending an investigation and autopsy. Matthew was born in Massachusetts but moved to Canada when he was one year old after his parents divorced (his mom was Canadian and his dad American).  As a kid, he took a keen interest in tennis, becoming a top ranked junior player in Canada. When he turned 15, he moved from Ottawa to Los Angeles to live with his dad. He graduated high school in 1987 and began doing improv comedy in the LA area. In-between comedy gigs he auditioned for TV roles. One of his earliest was a three-episode appearance in Growing Pains as the boyfriend to Carol Seavers. He continued to appear in TV shows including Beverly Hills 90210 and the sitcom Home Free. In 1993 he was cast as Chandler Bing on Friends, a r...