Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, hors, to the latest edition of "Nepo Watch!" Are you scared? You should be. Today we're all about Kelly Osbourne, a potty-mouthed goblin who was crotch-dropped by Sharon, her dethroned talk show hostess mother, and co-created with ooze from Ozzy, her now addled, dry drunk father who once enjoyed biting the heads off of live bats on stage with Black Sabbath. During this time, little Kelly toured the world with them - and was with them both when Ozzy was arrested in the late 1980s for attempting to murder Sharon by wringing her neck.  Team No One?   Such incidents formed Kelly, who later achieved nepo-messy renown - many times over - and has only recently popped back up in the news.   "I'm a nepo baby and I'm proud to be a fucking nepo baby," she's exclaimed on more than one occasion. She's also proud to recount her starry-eyed childhood, like the time she told mama Sharon, "No, I'm not doing this for you. I am not shitting in dad...

This is a tale of moxie, a tale of bravery, a tale of all-out chutzpah from everyone's favorite Jewish convert - since Tia Tequila and Jenna Jameson, at least. This is the tale of Ivanka Trump. Why "brave," you ask? Because what's the ultimate nepo baby to do when not a single person wants to be in their company?  No, really. No one.  Since she's no longer advising world leaders at the G20 Summit  or focusing on the economic empowerment of women as daddy's specialist-ever "special advisor," Ivanka has had to completely re-architect her life! This is plainly audacious on her part, and make no mistake, architecting your life is hard.  Ever since daddy got elected, then lost his re-election, Ivanka has faced grueling hardships. Her fashion and accessories line went belly up; former social and cultural besties, like Anna Wintour and Blake Lively, no longer invited her to their exclusive soirees and events; while NYC friends since childhood, such as Lysan...

Welcome to another edition of Nepo Watch! Today, we examine Lourdes Leon, looking above like a played out Slovakian hooker giving the world's laziest bj behind the 7-11 Slurpee machine after washing her chocha with water and Strawberry Emergen-C for that fizzy 'n fruity whisker-biscuit feeling.  Lourdes, as you know - and don't even pretend you don't - is the 26 year-old daughter of Vadge and dick cheese contributor, Carlos Leon, Vadge's one-time Cuban-American trainer turned sometime "actor." Lourdes claims that she once banged Timothee Chamalet in high school. "Next question, I'm outta here," said Timothee when recently asked about his past with Lourdes. Really, Tim-O-Tay? You're embarrassed by Lourdes? You?  You of the reported rot-cock and herpa-warts? Clap-clap-clap. But I digress.  At first, Lourdes wasn't too annoying. As a tween, she popped up in the news now and again, mostly because she'd been caught smoking after one o...

Step right up! In this, Peckerwood Manor's inaugural Nepo Watch! post, we introduce Kingston, the 17 year-old son of Gwen Stefani - pictured above after her head transplant (allegedly!) - and her ex-husband, Gavin Rossdale. Kingston, we're told breathlessly by both parents, is destined to have a major music career, which has everything to do with his natural, God-given talents, thank you, and nothing to do with being Gavin's and Gwen's son. After all, insists Gavin, Kingston doesn't even like any of the music his parents have released over the last few decades, so how on earth could they give him a leg up in his career? Kingston is keeping his music career "independent" from his parents, they claim.  How independent? Thanks for asking! So independent that Kingston recently performed his music at stepdad Blake Shelton's Oklahoma bar to riotous acclaim and adulation - and Blake didn't birth Kingston, did he? Nepo who? Moreover, Gavin is being praise...