NEPO WATCH! Meet Kingston, The Teen Son Of Gwen Stefani And Gavin Rossdale! He Writes ‘Justin Bieber-Quality’ Songs!

By

Step right up! In this, Peckerwood Manor's inaugural Nepo Watch! post, we introduce Kingston, the 17 year-old son of Gwen Stefani - pictured above after her head transplant (allegedly!) - and her ex-husband, Gavin Rossdale. Kingston, we're told breathlessly by both parents, is destined to have a major music career, which has everything to do with his natural, God-given talents, thank you, and nothing to do with being Gavin's and Gwen's son. After all, insists Gavin, Kingston doesn't even like any of the music his parents have released over the last few decades, so how on earth could they give him a leg up in his career? Kingston is keeping his music career "independent" from his parents, they claim. 

How independent? Thanks for asking! So independent that Kingston recently performed his music at stepdad Blake Shelton's Oklahoma bar to riotous acclaim and adulation - and Blake didn't birth Kingston, did he? Nepo who? Moreover, Gavin is being praised by the trio for writing "Justin Bieber-quality songs" - and Justin didn't birth Kingston, did he? So there. And besides, claiming that Kingston writes "Justin Bieber-quality songs" is a shady insult isn't it? I'm fairly certain you wouldn't insult your own darling wildly privileged child or stepchild by claiming that they write "Justin Bieber-quality songs" if you were trying to boost their career prospects. So there again.


In addition, Gavin - pictured above after starting Ozempic (allegedly!) - also notes that Kingston is being praised on TickyTacky for having "talent running through his veins," but that doesn't mean said veiny talent comes from him or Gwen. Obvi. Kingston will find great success and win many Grammys all by his lonesome, despite being the son of two famous and very wealthy parents - and you're just jelly and a hater and "mean-spirited," according to Jamie Lee Curtis, if you dare suggest otherwise, you pleb. Besides, Gavin wants all his children to "contribute to society," and since Kingston isn't working with him or Gwen or even Blake on his music, he's totes real and doing it on his own and will succeed wildly on his own steed. Phew. I'm so glad that's settled. Till next time on Nepo Watch!

Photo Credits: SplashNews, Getty Images

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Peckerwood Manor's ELECTION PANIC-A-GOGO!

By
Image
It's happening right now! This is place to scream about the election; to vent, to rejoice, to grumble, then scream again. I swear, your throat will feel like sandpaper once this day is done. Have you voted yet? Are you in line? Post pictures! Is your heart skipping beats? Do you fear for the future? Of course you do! But crucially, do you have enough booze and pills to get through this? What, exactly, are you taking or drinking? We want to know. And what are you eating? Are you a sugar or salt whore? We want to know that, too.  Leave those who'd rather not discuss such matters to our special Election-Free Open Post , since today, for one day only, we're gettin' real and gettin' dirty  in our own gasping, shrieking, blood-soaked election post. Hold tight.   
Read more

OPEN POST: We Will Survive!

By
Image
Rise up, my chickens. We're all worth fighting for.  It won't be easy, it won't be fun, but through the long dark of night and on to a new day, it will surely be worth it. We don't regularly refer to politics in our Open Posts, but today, I think it's worth noting that many of us got through eight long years of Ronald Reagan - and it was a nightmare, and for many of my contemporaries, deadly. But here we are, we're still standing. We'll get through this, too, I promise.  What does this mean in the short-term? Tears, fury, booze, pills, or weed, of course. You have my permission - not that you need it - to comfort yourself however you like for the rest of the week. But come Monday, all bets are off. Bitches won't even see us coming. 
Read more

OPEN POST: Monday Music At The Manor With DJ Li'l Scratch!

By
Image
Are you freaking out about the election tomorrow? Me, too. Or maybe you're having a more generalized "It's Monday, oh-my-fucking-gawd" freak out? In either case, please allow Peckerwood Manor's esteemed DJ Li'l Scratch to take you away. Many of you already know about Li'l Scratch, as he regularly lays tracks at "Heavy D's," the Manor's exclusive after-hours club.  Today he's spinning Teri Thornton, a vibrant, husky-voiced jazz singer and piano player who hailed from Detroit. In 1961, she exploded onto the scene with her debut LP, "Devil May Care," demonstrating show-stopping vocal prowess. The reviews were through the roof and so was the public reception, yet just as suddenly - poof - she vanished after a few more LPs, her career thwarted by market changes given the rise of rock 'n' roll. And that was that. She was all but forgotten, reduced to driving a taxi to make ends meet.  But in a jaw-dropping comeback, she re
Read more