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Showing posts with the label Say What?

TREND ALERT: Primal Fitness (cue the Palaeolithic era)

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Photo: Primal Movement Academy What do you call lifting, carrying, crawling, pushing, pulling, throwing, running, squatting, and jumping? If you're over the age of 40 - it's called exercise.  If you're a pretentious IG or Tik Tok twit, you label it as primal fitness.  Wait a second: is this what moronic influencers do all day? Sit around thinking of vacuous new names for existing things? Is this their sole focus of their existence? Ugh. Back to the story. The new trend among the pretentious and gullible is an exercise routine these posers define as, "foundational movement patterns to increase efficiency in everyday life." Huh? From what I was able gather, the patterns include pushing, pulling, rotation, and a bunch of other nonsense. Um, isn't this what in the old days was referred to as cross-functional or strength training?  I guess the IG and Tik Tok crowd need to put their own spin on it to make it sound fashionable. In a Muscle & Fitness article, Dan

TREND ALERT: Corporate Goth Is The New Office Attire For Gen Z Workers

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  Photo: Teen Vogue When you think of business attire, the last thing you'd expect to see in the hallways at some corporate office is an emo wannabe wearing head-to-toe goth. Today's corporate Gen Z are taking a page out of the Robert Smith & Siouxsie Sioux catalog by sporting the goth look for the office. Nothing says "Please take me seriously" than looking like you crawled out of a coffin carrying a can of Clamato juice and your smartphone. I must be getting old because the goth look during my youth was what you wore to a rave party, a Cure concert, or to a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It sure as hell wasn't what you wore to have a sit-down with clients or the CEO. Corporate goth is the latest trend among the Tik Tok generation. Young professionals are donning their best white pancake makeup, black eye liner, fishnet stockings, pleather, and greasy hair to make whatever-the-fuck statement they think they're making with their atti

First World Problems: Walmart's New Shopping Cart Is Polarizing Customers

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  Photo: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images (Left), Dominick Reuter/Insider (Right); Business Insider For about the past two years, Walmart has been quietly testing a new shopping cart design at select stores. In the photo above, the left is the old cart and the right is the new cart. They recently decided to roll them out at more stores. The new carts are not a hit with some shoppers. Yea, I know, first world problems. The only time I cared about shopping cart design was whenever I was involved in shopping cart races in college drunk off my ass. Somehow, I always managed to get stuck with the wobbly wheel cart. But that's another story for another day.     According to a Walmart spokesperson, the new carts, "are intended to enhance the shopping experience". Translation: we want people to buy more stuff.  The new carts are about the same size as their old carts (tiny bit bigger) which you think would be a plus for Walmart shoppers to pile more s

Boss uses a wobbly chair test to weed out candidates: A commentary

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   Job interviews are stressful and nerve wrecking. You're doing your best to impress hiring managers and potential boss and interviewers are doing what they can to weed out candidates. Hiring managers use various interview techniques to find the best candidate. There's the Behavioral interview, which asks the candidate questions about their past job experiences and skills. You know, the "tell me about yourself" or "tell me about a time you had to bla bla bla".   Then there's the Panel interview, which is a lot like being interrogated in a room full of cops. You have several interviewers sitting in a room launching questions at the candidate. Afterwards they compare notes on the individual.  The Case interview is my most hated type of interview. This is when a candidate is given a task or business problem to solve during the actual interview (while being timed) and then told to give a presentation of a solution to the interviewers. I've heard of comp

Mattel looking to hire Chief Uno Player to hype up game...and potential movie?

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  Mattel, riding high off the fumes of the blockbuster Barbie movie (which crossed the $1 billion mark), has posted a job listing for a Chief UNO Player.  According to reports, "the ideal candidate for this role is "someone who's just as passionate about throwing down a Draw 4 as they are engaging strangers in a game. The new hire is expected to create and star in social content for UNO games and must work out of New York four days a week, four hours a day, for four consecutive weeks. The person hired will be paid $4,444 every week, per Mattel."  Talk about your lazy girl/boy job. Sit around an office for a few hours a day barfing up SM content for the game. Damn, I need to re-think my career choices. Anyway, there's supposedly a movie in the works based on the game. Back in 2021, rapper Lil Yachty was tied to the UNO movie. The premise being pitched was a potty-mouth action movie based on the hip hop scene. However, when the script was shared with Mattel exe

Lazy girl/boy is the latest trend among younger workers: A commentary

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  When I read about the latest trend among youngsters on Tik Tok called "lazy girl job" I had to find out more as my first reaction was huh?   Lazy girl job is essentially two things: finding a brag worthy, well paying remote job ($80k +) and then going on social media to brag about being lazy, doing the bare minimum with zero ambition, and encouraging others to do the same. At least this is what its morphed into from the original premise of finding a high paying remote gig and putting in minimal effort to allow time to pursue a life. In some ways it's like quiet quitting. Bragging about being lazy on the job isn't anything thing new. Since prehistoric times workers have always tried to find ways to slack off when the boss isn't looking. But what's different with today's entitled, everyone gets a participation trophy generation is their braggadocios brazen attitude about it. I know...don't generalize as there are younger workers who bust their ass for

Forrest Gump Jr. has found God

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  Why is it when people realize they're assholes they turn it into an epiphany involving God?  Well seems like Forrest Gump Jr (aka son of Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson) and self-proclaimed king of White Boy Summer has been touched by the holy spirit. Just once I'd like for someone to admit they're a douche - the end. Move on. Go do good things to make the world a better place. Anyway,  Cheeze Whiz Chet Haze has removed all old photos of himself on his IG to reveal a new photo featuring a giant tat of a cross on his chest as his sacrifice to serve the All Mighty. He continued his path of enlightenment by posting these gems of divine inspiration. I get the sense he wrote these while flexing in front of a mirror as Chants of the Benedictine Monks played in the background. I will give Lambo guy credit for realizing he's a useless caricature. If a person is genuine in finding a greater entity that will help them get their shit together and be a productive citizen of the univ

Jamie Foxx Has Recovered From Something!

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Phew! Jamie Foxx has recovered from a super secret something. As you'll recall, he was rushed from the set of Netflix's "Back In Action" in April due to an unspecified "medical complication," according to his daughter, Corrine, and later underwent physical rehabilitation at a hospital known to treat stroke and cancer victims, as well as those suffering from traumatic brain and spinal cord injuries. Foxx, who's now announcing that he's on the mend, is thanking his fans for their prayers and expressing gratitude to the Almighty - but all without specifying, what, exactly, he was stricken with.  It's a mystery wrapped in a Sphynx and a messy chili double-cheese burrito and one of Kum's used, bacon-greased SKIMs. Which means Detective LaToya is on it .  And why shouldn't she be? A host of celebrities and randos have already stepped forward to claim that they have the exclusive scoop. Mike Tyson, for one, said that Foxx had a major stroke, th

Lana Del Rey. And now David Letterman. Is there a new addrendaline inducing trend emerging among the glitterati?

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  Polo is so passe. Yacht racing is overdone. Are we seeing the dawn of a new adrenaline rush of what I'm going to refer to as Step Into My Shoes? The reason I say this is that Lana Del Rey and now David Letterman have been spotted stepping into the shoes of everyday common jobs (for whatever reasons) to experience the thrill of it.  A few days ago there were reports of Lana Del Rey working at a Waffle House in Alabama. For some unknown reason she donned an apron and stepped into the shoes of a waitress and served unsuspecting customers. A few of them ended up recognizing her but there were no camera crews in tow. No paps. Her camp offered no explanation why she did this. Was it self-imposed penance for being late to Glastonbury due to hair issues? Was it to experience the thrill of blue collar work? Who knows. Then, there's David Letterman who visited a grocery store in Iowa and started bagging groceries. Now David did offer an explanation. He's co-owner of an Indy car tha

Memo to Duke & Duchess of Netflix: Air Force One isn't for bumming a ride

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    It's slow news because of the SAG-Writers strike. So we have to make due with whatever floats on the proverbial toilet bowl. This came up.  According to reports (I'm side-eyeing Scoobie Obbie Doo), the Duke & Duchess of Nextflix stood on the airport tarmac with their thumbs out (the international sign of hitchhiking) to ask the White House if they could bum a ride on Air Force One for Queen Elizabeth's funeral. The White House said, "Nope". I imagine the White House operator rolled their eyes and proceeded to block their number. It takes a special kind of empty headed self importance stupidity to even think about asking POTUS for a freebie on Air Force One, let alone actually doing it. Then again, no one should be shocked since these two have been called grifters by Spotify execs. Is this why Megan didn't attend the funeral and Prince Harry looked pissed off at having to fly commercial?   Let's examine everything that's wrong if you try to hit

Fans Are Outraged That Madonna Is Ignoring Them. Plus an UPDATE.

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Fans of Madonna are in rage-mode, ya'll. Why? Because the "I'm Addicted" singer (see what I did there) was out and about yesterday and has yet to let fans know if she's delaying her tour - which is supposed to start Saturday in Vancouver. BTW, what can we tell from this picture above? No ass. It's gone. As in her surgically-enhanced poot-box seems to have left the building. Other then that, she looks pretty damn good for someone who was on the edge of death after an opiate overdose a bacterial infection   generalized unbearableness  a bout of who the fuque knows.  But back to Madonna's little monsters (ah hahahaha! come for me Gag fans!). Similar to Adele, when she had a case of the scareds before cancelling her first Vegas gig, Madonna's fans are shit out of luck in terms of all the hotel and plane fees they've paid and they are not amused. Concerns about refund eligibility? Pff. That's for the poors.  Om one hand, I feel for them. Many laid

Afternoon Tea: Greta Gerwig & Netflix looking to kick-start Chronicles of Narnia franchise; Tammy Cruise wants to play Ethan Hunt until he's 80.

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  The Chronicles of Narnia is a series of 7 books by C.S. Lewis that were published in the 1950's. Over the years the books have been adapted into radio, TV, video games and just about anything you squeeze a dollar out of.  In the early 2000's, the Mouse House (Govt Name: Disney) adapted two of the books for the big screen: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; and Prince Caspian.   Sometime around 2018 Netflix opened its wallet, slapped its credit card on the counter (that's a lot of reward points) and acquired the rights to the books from Disney. Since then, Netflix hasn't done anything with them...until now.   No word on which book (or books) will be directed by Greta or how much she will be paid. Since she's coming off the heels (pun intended) of directing "Barbie: The Movie", my guess is this: If the Barbie movie turns into the bazillion dollar hit Hollywood is pushing for it to be, Greta can probably pick whatever book on the shelf she wants to adap

Dolphins use baby talk to round up the family. My parents just yelled.

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      When my parents wanted to get my attention, they did what 99.99% of parents do: Yell.   When dolphins need to round up their chirruns they use baby talk.  In study by PNAS and an article from AP: "Motherese” is a speech pattern that is nearly universal across cultures and languages in human caregivers interacting with children, but evidence among nonhuman species is sparse. Here, we report evidence for motherese in the bottlenose dolphin, a species that shows parallels to humans in their long-term mother–offspring bonds and lifelong vocal learning. They use these whistles to keep track of each other. They’re periodically saying, ‘I’m here, I’m here’,” said study co-author Laela Sayigh, a Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution marine biologist in Massachusetts". Dolphins are remarkable animals. Those of you who are part of the Werther's Generation may remember the TV show Flipper.  Flipper was the HBIC* and companion animal of Chief Warden Porter Ricks at

US lawmaker calls Mount Rushmore "demonic portal for communism"

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  Ah, Mount Rushmore, who knew you're the portal to hell in disguise. In what I can only define as "Stupid is as Stupid Does", a state lawmaker from South Dakota is calling this beloved US monument a "demonic portal for communism". All this time, I thought Mount Rushmore was an inspiring rock carving that featured US presidents. Devil's Tower (the famous monument featured in Close Encounters of the Third Kind) is saying, "hold my spaceship ". Meanwhile, the trifecta of communism - Stalin, Mao, and Castro - are sitting around a poker table, laughing and chortling "Who Knew?" Anyway, back to the story. *grabs tin foil hat* Joe Donnell, a Republican member of the South Dakota House of Representatives said in a recent episode of "Now is the Time" podcast (insert eye roll): “In order to understand the spiritual realm of what we’re facing, we have to realize that in order for the enemy to do anything, it needs the agreement of h

DiCapprio and Bezos tag team to protect the Amazon forest

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  Leo DiCapprio and Jeff Bezos have turned over their sofa cushions to find loose change they plan to give to support the Protecting Our Planet (POP) Challenge. The POP Challenge is one of the largest privately funded organizations that is focused on biodiversity conservation.  The duo's non profit organizations - Leo's "Wild Conservation" (and no, it's not the theme of his latest yacht party) and Bezo's "Nature Solutions" (which sounds like a line of cleaning products) are tag teaming to pony up $200 million into the POP Challenge. According to Variety, "The POP Challenge will support the expansion and management of Brazil's protected areas and Indigenous territories". I think its swell that these two titans of their respective industries are coming together to support efforts to protect the Amazon Forest. Jeff Bezo's reported net worth is $148 billion and Leo's $300 million. With that kind of money, they can easily buy the Ama

Why SJP Won't Show Her Bewbs on SATC and "And Just Like That."

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If you always thought it was all kinds of strange, that every gal on "Sex and the City" showed their bewbs and other body parts except for Sarah Jessica Parker, you are not alone. 

Oh No! It's finally the end of the line for Poland's Bus to Hel 666

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    If you’re not familiar with Poland and it’s many tourist offerings, there’s one that stands out head and shoulders above the rest:   The Bus to Hel with the appropriate numbered bus 666.   The bus has been in operation since 2006 (seems only appropriate) giving rides to those who want to be the envy of their friends and family by bragging they rode the Bus to Hel. The ride itself is probably similar to taking a cross country trip in my parent's station wagon with the faux wood paneling. Sadly, the good times are coming to an end because the holy water surfing club has been pushing for a while to rename it and they finally got their wish. They felt “it had satanic overtones and that to present the reality of eternal damnation as amusing in any way is just plain stupidity.” If the Bus to Hell employed Adam Sandler’s awful “Little Nicky” as it’s driver I would say that souls were at risk of eternal damnation because he would make them watch the movie in an endless loop.