Jamie Foxx Has Recovered From Something!

Phew! Jamie Foxx has recovered from a super secret something. As you'll recall, he was rushed from the set of Netflix's "Back In Action" in April due to an unspecified "medical complication," according to his daughter, Corrine, and later underwent physical rehabilitation at a hospital known to treat stroke and cancer victims, as well as those suffering from traumatic brain and spinal cord injuries. Foxx, who's now announcing that he's on the mend, is thanking his fans for their prayers and expressing gratitude to the Almighty - but all without specifying, what, exactly, he was stricken with. 

It's a mystery wrapped in a Sphynx and a messy chili double-cheese burrito and one of Kum's used, bacon-greased SKIMs. Which means Detective LaToya is on it.  And why shouldn't she be? A host of celebrities and randos have already stepped forward to claim that they have the exclusive scoop. Mike Tyson, for one, said that Foxx had a major stroke, then hastily added, "I have no idea." Very helpful, Mike!

There there's AJ Benza. Who, you ask? Have a seat, chickens. Benza's the former "New York Post" gossipeuse who allegedly killed stories about Harvey Weinstein's rapes 'n' things in exchange for a book deal with Harvey's Miramax Books - a charge he now hotly denies (insert *Sure, Jan* gif). Anydoodles, Benza claimed that Foxx was left paralyzed and blind by the Covid vaccine, a stunning revelation which he reported on an online show hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky, the esteemed medical professional who once compared Covid to the regular ol' flu and stated that Presidential campaigner Hilary Clinton was dying of brain damage, the latter which got him fired from CNN. So totally reliable sources!

AnywayPinskyandBenzaaretrash (andTysonisadumbass), all we know for sure is what Jamie says. He went "through hell," he noted in a recent Instagram post, but is now back and "able to work." Good for him! Let's just hope that there's no more shenanigans in his future like there were on "Ray," in which he famously glued his eyes shut - no, I'm not making this up - for his Oscar-winning portrayal of Ray Charles, which led him to have a major meltdown on set, demand soap to scrub the glue from his peepers and scream, "This is not going to work!" Be well, Jamie. I hope you never get stricken by that super secret something again, and, oh, stay away from Gorilla Glue.