Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Saucy Kitty! What should we call them? Belena? Senny? Tiresome? Many of you have read that Selena Gomez has finally gotten engaged to music producer Benny Blanco, aka that fugly guy in the pink furry bathroom picture in People’s "Sexiest Man Alive" edition, aka the dude who gave her a bathtub filled with queso cheese for Valentine’s Day, prompting protests about food waste and the gross-nasty of eating out of a bathtub. My personal protest? What’s with the icky bathroom stuff? Before I pop the question (ha!), a brief background on the soon-to-be-wed (OR WILL THEY?): Selena started her ascent to fame on PBS’s “Barney & Friends” and went on to star in the Disney teen sitcom, “Wizards of Waverley Place.” Following that, she launched a singing career with such hits as… eh, must I? Do we care? I say no. She also starred in a bunch...

It's the end of summer, which means that in addition to the still-sweltering heat - don't put those fans away yet, bitches! - it's the time of year when many celebs get married or unchained or hit the ho stroll for peen on the regular. First up, love lives with a Broadway vet who's so painfully skinny you could suck her through a straw. I speak, of course, about Kristin Chenoweth, who claims that her hair extensions once saved her life after a nasty fall at a 7-11 (I'm not kidding), in which she cracked open her skull on the pavement and the metal from her extensions held together her fracture. Ouch (but also, was she getting ciggies or a Slurpee?) (these are the details that matter).  Anywayshestilllookslikeabobblehead, 55 year-old Kristin married 41 year-old Josh Bryant, a relative normie and a "musician," we're told. And, yes, a younger man. Escandalo! or Get it, Kristin!  Pick one. At their rehearsal dinner, they served a custom-made Baskin-Robbin...