► Over the weekend, Mel B (51) of the Spice Girls sashayed down the aisle to marry husband #3, hairstylist Rory McPhee (37). IMO, Rory looks like David Spade with dark hair. Her bridesmaids were her 3 grown kids - well, 2 of them are grown adults and one is 13. The future ex-husband #4 wore a kilt from the costume dept of Braveheart. Mel opted for a dress from the Stridex Acne Collection. The only member of the Spice Girls who attended was Emma Bunton (Baby Spice). I guess she had nothing better to do. In case you forgot (like I did), Mel B was kicked out of the group last year for spilling secrets about them. I have no idea what those secrets were. Probably that Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice) never sang and lip synced her way to fame; or that Gerri Halwell (Ginger Spice) is not a natural redhead. Who the heck knows...or cares. The Spice Girls are about as relevant these days as Quiznos Subs.   Read More   Rory McPhee and Mel B. Photo: Max Mumby/Indigo; Getty Images...

   ► The circus of the year known as the Bozo & Silicon Sophia wedding took place over the weekend at Venice. There's a lot to laugh at the $56 million they reportedly spent to show that you can't buy class. It was a wedding Stefon from SNL would be proud of. The only thing missing were the midgets wearing traffic cones on their heads and a goat karaoke. Here's my book report.    Let's begin with the wedding invitation. I've seen better art work in a bathroom stall of a port-a-john. It's almost as if they went to Dollar General and bought a sheet of random stickers and threw them on as an after-thought when this mess was spat out by a printer low on ink. If you notice, the invite asks guests to make a donation to a listed Venice charity. Let's be real: donation = payoff. Bozo doesn't have a decent bone in his turtle body. SM had a few thoughts about the invitation:   Read More "Please tell me this isn’t real. It looks like clip art from windows ...

Whenever I read something about this family, I hear the faint sounds of banjos, harmonicas, fiddles, and twangy, forgettable country music. It should be the soundtrack to their lives. The Cyruses act like they are the stars of some bootleg 80s soap opera without the glamor, jewels, tennis courts, and Bob Mackie gowns.  It's amazing that a mullet and an Achy Breaky Heart were the things that started them on their road to fame and fortune that is reminiscent of the Clampetts. Like if "The Beverly Hillbillies" had been real and if Elly May had been a child star and Jed had been a one-hit-wonder.  If it weren't for Hannah Montana and Miley's long coattails, Billy Ray would be mostly a footnote's footnote whose 1990s and beyond-career highlights would have included playing country jamborees at county fairs and monster truck shows. The entire Cyrus clan should pay homage to Miley daily because there would be no "them" without her. They should build shrines...