Gwyneth Paltrow Crisps Her Nips on Holiday In Italy

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Source: gwynethpaltrow/Instagram

Broth connoisseur and sentient kindling Gwyneth Paltrow took some time with her head out of her 20-year-old stripper's ass this week to embark on a lavish vacation with her family in Italy, and aren't we lucky she shared the photos to prove it! I know we're all super busy mainlining cheez whiz and canned soup right now, but please! There's tatas involved so I need your full attention!

Paltrow shared photos on Instagram Friday of herself and husband Brad Falchuk enjoying an Italian holiday topless in the sun, with Paltrow's arm just covering her bare chest and his not, unfortunately. Ever a beacon of health and wellness, Gwyneth appears to soak up as much vitamin D as she can - and from the looks of it, not even the quicker-picker-upper could handle such a load. Someone get me some Jack Links, I'm suddenly feeling a little snacky!

Also seen vacationing with her is her son Moses, 17. In one photo he poses while sipping a cappuccino, hopefully laced with pure methanol for his own sake. I mean, it can't be any worse than cheez whiz!







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