How I long for the bygone days of couch-jumping and maniacal laughter. No, for reals. Ever since the writers and actors went on strike, all of your favorite celebs are no longer on the promotional ho stroll making fools of themselves or being tacky. Ergo, celebrity gossip isn't just in the crapper, it's an unsinkable molly brown - or a brown trout of, let's say, the Piers Morgan variety. Eeeow! No one wants that.
How do we know this? Because all the gossip sites are straining really hard to come up with stuff now that the stars are hunkering down - or protesting, God help us, like Susan Sarandon. Take "Page Six," which today has this earth-shattering news: "Barbara Walters' Last Words!" Which are the none-too-earth-shattering, "No regrets. I've had a great life." That's not just a crumb parading as a story, it's your grandfather's flaky beard dandruff and sputum dotting his dark blue shirt. What else does "Page Six" have? More on alleged child abuser Ruby Franke. That's not gossip, thats a fuck-me-sideways-with-a-monkey-wrench horror show and it doesn't count. Neither does their lead story about Derek Hough canoodling with his wife. His wife! WTF? And Derek Hough? Cue *Harpo, who's this woman* gif.
Even TMZ, a usually reliable source of celebrity fuckery, is straining. They're reporting on Travis Barker - such glamour! - who had to cut his tour short with "Blink 182" because of an unspecified family emergency. But c'mon, unless this emergency is a complete head transplant for Travis, I'm not interested. And, oh, yes, there's another story in which "a source" claims that Britney Spears will not be doing OnlyFans, because, let's be honest, save a camera showing her cooter stretched wide with a speculum, we've seen it all.
The only celebrities allowed to speak and potentially give us some decent goss or asshatary are those appearing in SAG-waiver, non-AMPTP productions, like Adam Driver - again, the glamour! - who's promoting "Ferrari," a Michael Mann movie already getting tepid reviews. And what is he talking about? The strike! How he's totally behind it and really supports...huh? Wha? Sorry, but gossip right now is like an awkward sexual advance. You may want it, but it's so clumsy and skird you just want to slap it upside the head.
Which means the best gossip right now is no gossip. It's Kylie Minogue and her verifiably batshit new music video, "Tension." I've no idea what's going on here - someone please explain (or not) - but Kylie looks fantastic and if she's intending to bring back trippy mid-90s club beats, she's succeeded. It's just no substitute for TommyGirl™ jumping on couches and this makes me sad emoticon. For our own sanity, I hope the strikes end soon.
Taylor Momsen, who Michael K once described as "the hardest bitch of the playground," originally rose to fame for her role as Cindy Lou Who in 2000's How The Grinch Stole Christmas starring Jim Carrey. She later acted in Gossip Girl while kicking off her career as the lead singer of the band The Pretty Reckless since 2009. Well it seems Momsen wants to return to her festive roots this year by releasing a Christmas album. The singer posted on her socials about the band's EP that will be releasing on October 31st. Talk about a Nightmare Before Christmas, amirite?! Source: Blabbermouth
In celebration of the momentous occasion, feel free to share your favourite dessert. Cake? Pie? Perhaps an ambrosia salad! If you have a killer dessert recipe and you haven't already shared it to the Peckerwood Recipe Box, please do so here ! We love our sweet treats!
Picture it: London, 1889. A magazine called "Tit-Bits" (for real!) introduces a contest to its single female readers, asking them to answer a very provocative question for the time: Why Am I A Spinster? The prize? Five shillings split among 21 winners. Cha-ching! Now, single hors of the Manor, before I pose the same question to you and ask, " Why are YOU a spinster?", let's have a look at some of these inspiring answers from the past: Now, DO tell, Peckersluts, Why ARE you a spinster?
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