How I long for the bygone days of couch-jumping and maniacal laughter. No, for reals. Ever since the writers and actors went on strike, all of your favorite celebs are no longer on the promotional ho stroll making fools of themselves or being tacky. Ergo, celebrity gossip isn't just in the crapper, it's an unsinkable molly brown - or a brown trout of, let's say, the Piers Morgan variety. Eeeow! No one wants that.
How do we know this? Because all the gossip sites are straining really hard to come up with stuff now that the stars are hunkering down - or protesting, God help us, like Susan Sarandon. Take "Page Six," which today has this earth-shattering news: "Barbara Walters' Last Words!" Which are the none-too-earth-shattering, "No regrets. I've had a great life." That's not just a crumb parading as a story, it's your grandfather's flaky beard dandruff and sputum dotting his dark blue shirt. What else does "Page Six" have? More on alleged child abuser Ruby Franke. That's not gossip, thats a fuck-me-sideways-with-a-monkey-wrench horror show and it doesn't count. Neither does their lead story about Derek Hough canoodling with his wife. His wife! WTF? And Derek Hough? Cue *Harpo, who's this woman* gif.
Even TMZ, a usually reliable source of celebrity fuckery, is straining. They're reporting on Travis Barker - such glamour! - who had to cut his tour short with "Blink 182" because of an unspecified family emergency. But c'mon, unless this emergency is a complete head transplant for Travis, I'm not interested. And, oh, yes, there's another story in which "a source" claims that Britney Spears will not be doing OnlyFans, because, let's be honest, save a camera showing her cooter stretched wide with a speculum, we've seen it all.
The only celebrities allowed to speak and potentially give us some decent goss or asshatary are those appearing in SAG-waiver, non-AMPTP productions, like Adam Driver - again, the glamour! - who's promoting "Ferrari," a Michael Mann movie already getting tepid reviews. And what is he talking about? The strike! How he's totally behind it and really supports...huh? Wha? Sorry, but gossip right now is like an awkward sexual advance. You may want it, but it's so clumsy and skird you just want to slap it upside the head.
Which means the best gossip right now is no gossip. It's Kylie Minogue and her verifiably batshit new music video, "Tension." I've no idea what's going on here - someone please explain (or not) - but Kylie looks fantastic and if she's intending to bring back trippy mid-90s club beats, she's succeeded. It's just no substitute for TommyGirl™ jumping on couches and this makes me sad emoticon. For our own sanity, I hope the strikes end soon.
Here they are kissing his ass and praising his doo-doos as detailed HERE and HERE , plus don't miss out on fashionable DICTATOR CHIC , and be sure to nab your very own GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card!
Credit: Tyrell Hampton Here's the wonderful Stephen Colbert in a photoshoot for GQ. He's giving "older man you swiped on Grindr who's about to take you to his penthouse suite where you'll enjoy the best drugs of your entire life." I love the slippers. Here are some more pics: Source: GQ
Credit: Felipe/Backgrid Julia Fox recently attended "The Cursed Amulet" Halloween party in NYC on October 30th. Never one to shy from attention, Fox decided to dress up in the outfit Jackie Kennedy wore the day her husband was assassinated right next to her. Kennedy refused to take her outfit off for Lyndon B. Johnson's swearing-in ceremony, as she wanted to "let them see what they've done to Jack." We all know the story. When Fox was asked about the look on the red carpet, she described her costume as "Jackie-O-Nasty," and said, "Tonight I'm serving bloody diva, single mom who's about to cash that check!" Naturally, people criticized Fox's choice, calling it tasteless and inappropriate. After seeing the backlash, Fox took to instagram to defend her choice. She says it's not a costume, but a statement about "trauma, power, and how femininity itself is a form of resistance." She also said that Jackie's choice...
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