How I long for the bygone days of couch-jumping and maniacal laughter. No, for reals. Ever since the writers and actors went on strike, all of your favorite celebs are no longer on the promotional ho stroll making fools of themselves or being tacky. Ergo, celebrity gossip isn't just in the crapper, it's an unsinkable molly brown - or a brown trout of, let's say, the Piers Morgan variety. Eeeow! No one wants that.
How do we know this? Because all the gossip sites are straining really hard to come up with stuff now that the stars are hunkering down - or protesting, God help us, like Susan Sarandon. Take "Page Six," which today has this earth-shattering news: "Barbara Walters' Last Words!" Which are the none-too-earth-shattering, "No regrets. I've had a great life." That's not just a crumb parading as a story, it's your grandfather's flaky beard dandruff and sputum dotting his dark blue shirt. What else does "Page Six" have? More on alleged child abuser Ruby Franke. That's not gossip, thats a fuck-me-sideways-with-a-monkey-wrench horror show and it doesn't count. Neither does their lead story about Derek Hough canoodling with his wife. His wife! WTF? And Derek Hough? Cue *Harpo, who's this woman* gif.
Even TMZ, a usually reliable source of celebrity fuckery, is straining. They're reporting on Travis Barker - such glamour! - who had to cut his tour short with "Blink 182" because of an unspecified family emergency. But c'mon, unless this emergency is a complete head transplant for Travis, I'm not interested. And, oh, yes, there's another story in which "a source" claims that Britney Spears will not be doing OnlyFans, because, let's be honest, save a camera showing her cooter stretched wide with a speculum, we've seen it all.
The only celebrities allowed to speak and potentially give us some decent goss or asshatary are those appearing in SAG-waiver, non-AMPTP productions, like Adam Driver - again, the glamour! - who's promoting "Ferrari," a Michael Mann movie already getting tepid reviews. And what is he talking about? The strike! How he's totally behind it and really supports...huh? Wha? Sorry, but gossip right now is like an awkward sexual advance. You may want it, but it's so clumsy and skird you just want to slap it upside the head.
Which means the best gossip right now is no gossip. It's Kylie Minogue and her verifiably batshit new music video, "Tension." I've no idea what's going on here - someone please explain (or not) - but Kylie looks fantastic and if she's intending to bring back trippy mid-90s club beats, she's succeeded. It's just no substitute for TommyGirl™ jumping on couches and this makes me sad emoticon. For our own sanity, I hope the strikes end soon.
My burning question is...how do you find another person to couple up with who would do this, too? But it wasn't fun and games in Canada. Not everyone loves a cosplaying couple. If upon threat of life and limb, which era would you choose if forced? What do you think of our American Victorians?
Welcome, party hors, to another Manor Music Monday - plus a very special holiday surprise. But first, DJ Li'l Scratch has pawed his way into the Manor's Beeftube Lounge, ready to spin you some tunes. Today, he's all about the one and only Ann Richards. Are you familiar with Ann? Back in the day, she gained fame for her jazz vocals and notoriety for her sizzling spread in "Playboy" magazine in 1961 (one of the more demure shots is above, sans staples). The "Playboy" spread tended to overshadow her accomplishments as a vocalist, yet ever since a salacious 2010 book about Stan Kenton, whom she was married to, was released, there's been renewed interest in her music and life. Amongst the book's many details: their son Lance was arrested in 1978 for attempted murder after putting a rattlesnake in his lawyer's mailbox (you can't make this stuff up). But let's put all that messy violence aside (and agree that Stan was a horrible person who...
Canuck Peckers can certainly recognize this image. Usually you'd see these candies gathering dust at your local corner store or perhaps in an elder relative's home. Or MINE, because I have excellent taste. The Cherry Blossom was originally created in the 1890s by Lowney Company's Canadian subsidiary. The candy has changed hands a few times and was eventually acquired by Hershey Canada in the 1980s. Sickeningly sweet and impossible to eat without getting sticky hands, the candy secured its place in the hearts (and visceral fat) of Canadians over the past 135 years. But Hershey Canada made the sad announcement this week that they are discontinuing production of this beautiful, underrated confectionary. Many are already joking that you will still see these candies in shops for years to come as they never really seem to die. Regardless, I am sad to see them go. Rest in Peace! Source: City News BTW, looking for Peckerwood's Weekly Lunocracy Post? It's RIGHT HERE .
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