How I long for the bygone days of couch-jumping and maniacal laughter. No, for reals. Ever since the writers and actors went on strike, all of your favorite celebs are no longer on the promotional ho stroll making fools of themselves or being tacky. Ergo, celebrity gossip isn't just in the crapper, it's an unsinkable molly brown - or a brown trout of, let's say, the Piers Morgan variety. Eeeow! No one wants that.
How do we know this? Because all the gossip sites are straining really hard to come up with stuff now that the stars are hunkering down - or protesting, God help us, like Susan Sarandon. Take "Page Six," which today has this earth-shattering news: "Barbara Walters' Last Words!" Which are the none-too-earth-shattering, "No regrets. I've had a great life." That's not just a crumb parading as a story, it's your grandfather's flaky beard dandruff and sputum dotting his dark blue shirt. What else does "Page Six" have? More on alleged child abuser Ruby Franke. That's not gossip, thats a fuck-me-sideways-with-a-monkey-wrench horror show and it doesn't count. Neither does their lead story about Derek Hough canoodling with his wife. His wife! WTF? And Derek Hough? Cue *Harpo, who's this woman* gif.
Even TMZ, a usually reliable source of celebrity fuckery, is straining. They're reporting on Travis Barker - such glamour! - who had to cut his tour short with "Blink 182" because of an unspecified family emergency. But c'mon, unless this emergency is a complete head transplant for Travis, I'm not interested. And, oh, yes, there's another story in which "a source" claims that Britney Spears will not be doing OnlyFans, because, let's be honest, save a camera showing her cooter stretched wide with a speculum, we've seen it all.
The only celebrities allowed to speak and potentially give us some decent goss or asshatary are those appearing in SAG-waiver, non-AMPTP productions, like Adam Driver - again, the glamour! - who's promoting "Ferrari," a Michael Mann movie already getting tepid reviews. And what is he talking about? The strike! How he's totally behind it and really supports...huh? Wha? Sorry, but gossip right now is like an awkward sexual advance. You may want it, but it's so clumsy and skird you just want to slap it upside the head.
Which means the best gossip right now is no gossip. It's Kylie Minogue and her verifiably batshit new music video, "Tension." I've no idea what's going on here - someone please explain (or not) - but Kylie looks fantastic and if she's intending to bring back trippy mid-90s club beats, she's succeeded. It's just no substitute for TommyGirl™ jumping on couches and this makes me sad emoticon. For our own sanity, I hope the strikes end soon.
ABC Well hello there, boys and girls but especially you boys! Autumn is at its height, the leaves, they are a-fallin’, and as the darkness swallows the light, a sniggering laugh whispers on the wind. Who can it be? Why, it’s everyone’s favourite force of nature and (barely) closeted druncle, Paul Lynde, with his fabulously exotic entourage! The Wicked Witch of the West (Margaret Hamilton), Witchipoo (Billie Hayes), and, of course, KISS, were all bit players in a show that was really all Paul. ABC “Marrying Paul to Halloween seemed like a good idea, because there was something essentially witchy about Paul Lynde.” Bruce Vilanch The Paul Lynde Halloween Special from 1976 is something I was never allowed to watch as a child for reasons that escaped me at the time, but now that I’m in my crone era there’s nobody to stop me. Shall we watch together? Wouldn't that just be lovely? What are you watching this spooky season?
Not a new pic (grabbed from my IG), but I love everything about it. Meanwhile, it's that time of year when it starts to cool down and the days grow shorter but it's still warm and windy and sunny. There's a tinge of regret for the end of warm weather, but anticipation for the leaves changing colors and the upcoming Holiday seasons . And just to bring it full circle to the Ford Fairlane Skyliner , here's a reaction video of some dude listening to "Since I Don't Have You" by The Skyliners for the first time. Unusually for reaction videos, he lets the whole thing play before giving his thoughts and I love this comment: "This makes me want to go and slow dance with my wife." Whether this makes you want to slow dance with your wife, or your husband, or gambol in nature with your 4-legged friends or just go outside and take a deep breath of clean, fresh air, happy Open Post, darlings! Photo Credits: AK
Yes, banning the press is terrible, but it's just one in a mountain of horrors enacted by this administration, few of which will be solved even if the Dems with the midterms, including this . By the way, the link is from a politically middle-brow gossip site, so you know matters are truly grave when even they're reporting on such things. If you can, give this very well respected group a 10-spot.
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