OPEN POST: Twyla The Turtle Gets A Scrubbin'!

As most of you know, Twyla the Turtle is an esteemed resident at Peckerwood Manor, known for her ribald conversations and delicious Atlanta Sours, which she makes with her own corn whisky from her own personal distillery. She's also just opened a sure-to-be-famous turtle spa, and while only Twyla and Tequila partake of its splendors at the moment, word has begun spreading. Turtles from parts near and far, we've heard, have already started their (very) slow trek toward our parts to enjoy its hot springs, massages, and reviving, minty scrub downs (as demonstrated by Miss Twyla above). 

In practical terms, this means that by this time next year - or maybe after, as they're quite leisurely in their travel - we'll all have to be on the look-out, whether we be moving around on foot, bicycle or car. No one wants to hear a crunchy splat beneath their feet or tires, so do be alert to any wee, journeying creatures. 

Also, today's lunch specials at the Peckerwood Cafeteria include Gravad Lax, a delicate salmon cured with dill, sugar and secret spices; Kroppkakor, or whipped potato dumplings filled with pork and served with lingonberry sauce; and Princess Cake, a light sponge cake with pastry cream and raspberry jam, all enveloped with a striking green marzipan topping. As always, please contact Mr. Tristan Spratt, your dedicated major duomo, for reservations.

Finally, 'tis the season, as they say, so kindly enjoy this Halloween tune, "Supernatural," by Madonna, the B-side to her single "Cherish" in the early 1990s. As expected, it's about Madonna boning a ghost. Tacky? Yes. Appropriate? Yes-yes.