THE ROVING PECKER PRESENTS: "More Scribbles From The Manor's Pecker Pets" by D'Hermitage!

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Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from D'Hermitage!

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They're baaaaack. The Pets of Peckerwood Manor have long kept secret diaries. Lucky for you, I stole more pages from a few and can now share their hush-hush scribbles:


Nubs:

9:00 am - Waiting. Dreaming of my hallway adventures. 

10:00 am - Still waiting. There’s a big family who have recently been coming to the building for a visit, but it seems like all their mother does is coral the kids in my hallway to make ridiculous poses! She takes lots of pictures and videos that sometimes the entire morning goes by, so I can't go out there to meet my friends and show them my ride, my outfit, and my very own poses. I OWN THIS HALLWAY! Who does she think she is? I wanna throw my fi...(how do you say "ceviche" in English?) at her! I’ll show her how to pose!

10:30 am - My hooman said I should be kind, it is grace before beauty. Fine. Maybe I’ll propose a hallway yoga collab. I’ll do the cat pose…and naturally she’ll be the cow. Oh, hahahahaha! Meow. Toodles. 


Bailey: 

One one-thousand, two one-thousand…You know when you’re afraid but you don’t want to show it? That is me right here. There has been lots of thunder and lightning outside and I’m so scared. I don’t want to alarm my hooman but seriously I can’t feel my legs. WHERE ARE MY LEGS?! Is it my fear, the humidity or the static from the carpet that is doing ALL THIS to my fur? 

Some of my ancestors were supposed to be herding sheep…but something in the mix ain’t right. I think someone did more than herding. LOOK AT ME! Oh, gah, I’m really scared, I’m seeing things! Or am I? BAAA! I mean AARRF! I think I’m gonna throw up.


Archie: 

I tried to change. To be…sweeter…calmer.…less fighting with Merlin…fur shedding everywhere…coughing up hairballs for tricks.

I slept on this couch, away from Merlin and the lemon fringe pillows for hours, trying not to drool. But all the while……MERLIN! 

GO AWAY MERLIN! I am lemonading! Thank you Titus A, you speak to my soul. Next project, how to hold a bat.





Butter: 

The noise! Construction everywhere! We need a vacation. Think: ‘Beautiful continent,' see the wild. So I hold my toy giraffe in front of Bree until snack time. No reaction. Just the usual ‘GORGEOUS, BUTTER!’ A victim of my own genetic success. Fortunately, I found an old photo of Brangelina from happier times and showed it to my hoomans! But they said: “What a lovely idea! Adopt? We’ll get you siblings.” EEEK NO! Like we don’t know how that ended. Can you imagine what will happen to my name if I have to drop the last part of it?


Ollie:

My hooman said she’s going out. She likes to run, I prefer to stay at home because I am going to practice my killer moves while she’s away. My hooman thinks that I have a bong problem, that I keep plucking feathers off toys - but she doesn’t understand! Ever since I saw that man, I’ve been haunted. It was humiliating. He yodeled at me! And said I’m going to be massively f…and then threw a….! The disrespect. 

So I have been preparing for his return. I'm gonna poke so hard his a…aaaaand now she’s back. Hooman! What are you even doing here now? No treats?

Secret Footage of Ollie’s Nemesis:


As always, thank you for sharing your pet pics. If you want your pet’s pics removed, please contact Bree and his Bendy Boyz™.

Photo Credits: BaconSlut Nub Whisperer, Marcia, Dora, Bree Daniels, Bodacious Dog Fart

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