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Showing posts with the label Lauren Sanchez

THE ROVING PECKER PRESENTS: "The Yassification of Lauren Sanchez" By Daniel C!

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Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Daniel C! When I first saw the chic elegance that is Lauren Sanchez, I was in awe. But what is it that I find so mesmerizing about this future Amazon glamazon? Am I just trying to make fetch happen? To me, Lauren possesses many qualities that I admire. I would not call myself extremely introverted, but I do not always need the spotlight on me. If I think about my closest friends, I can say that I am blessed to be close to some eccentric personalities who are okay with being obnoxious at times. I am naturally drawn to walking, talking telenovelas and when I learned that Lauren used to be an Emmy-winning news anchor and an accomplished helicopter pilot years, BB (before Bezos), I was intrigued.  I also find her very charismatic and could listen to her coarse voice blabbering drama for ages. Yeah, I've got time for that. You should meet

NEPO WATCH! Shunned By The NYC Elite, Ivanka Has "Hit The Jackpot," Finding New Besties At Last!

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This is a tale of moxie, a tale of bravery, a tale of all-out chutzpah from everyone's favorite Jewish convert - since Tia Tequila and Jenna Jameson, at least. This is the tale of Ivanka Trump. Why "brave," you ask? Because what's the ultimate nepo baby to do when not a single person wants to be in their company?  No, really. No one.  Since she's no longer advising world leaders at the G20 Summit  or focusing on the economic empowerment of women as daddy's specialist-ever "special advisor," Ivanka has had to completely re-architect her life! This is plainly audacious on her part, and make no mistake, architecting your life is hard.  Ever since daddy got elected, then lost his re-election, Ivanka has faced grueling hardships. Her fashion and accessories line went belly up; former social and cultural besties, like Anna Wintour and Blake Lively, no longer invited her to their exclusive soirees and events; while NYC friends since childhood, such as Lysan

THE ROVING PECKER PRESENTS: "Bitch Got Caught!" By Dramatic Tea Houx!

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Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Dramatic Tea Houx! In today’s edition of Bitch Got Caught: The FTC is suing Amazon! Everyhor we know shops on Amazon. When you need socks, but you can’t be bothered to run to Walmart or Target, you open your Amazon app and order yourself some socks. Because avoiding people, am I right? But there's a side of Amazon that the public doesn't really get to see, and that’s Third Party Sellers and Vendors who sell to Amazon wholesale. Most goods purchased on Amazon are supplied by Third Party Sellers or wholesale vendors. The FTCs allegations are that Amazon prevents sellers from offering discounts on their goods on other platforms, such as Walmart.com, Target.com and other lesser-known platforms. Rude! As someone who has been in the e-commerce industry for more than a decade, I say, “We done been knew.” It’s no secret in the industry th