Peckerwood Manor

Corporations exist to fuque you over - especially if you're poor. In the latest example of this truism, behold McDonalds, a hellscape eatery which caters to lower-income families desperate for a deal. For reasons they're not entirely willing to admit, the mega-grotesque chain has decided to put the screws to their customer base by getting rid of their self-serve soda stations. What does this mean? It means that should you want a meager refill of your watery Coke or Sprite, you'll have to buy another one. The cost of a medium drink at McDonald's is $1.30, with a profit margin to the corporation of about 90 percent. 90 fucking percent! God forbid your screaming tween should want a refill, because McDonald's is going to squeeze your ass for more cash. The restaurant claims this is merely to create a "more consistent experience" for its customers. To more consistently rip them off? To make them wait in yet another miserable line to order - and pay! - for a ref...

  Photo: Trevor Hughes / USA Today Network Who didn't see this coming. About 8 days ago, Hurricane Hillary hit the Los Angeles area which caused a lot of rain and flooding. It turned into a tropical storm system as it slooowly moved out of the area and towards Nevada where it impacted and changed the weather. Forecasters were sounding the alarm of potential record setting rain and flooding for the area where Burning Man is held, from August 27 - September 4. Do you think festival organizers and attendees cared? NOPE. For the past few days, images have been shown revelers stuck in downpours and mud. People were told to ration water, food, and fuel because the roads became impassable unless you had a heavy duty 4-wheel drive vehicle. According to reports, up to 70,000 attendees are stuck with the only way to get out is to walk. And walking is what some celebs did. Diplo posted videos of he and Chris Rock walking 6 miles until they were spotted by a fan who picked them up and took the...

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" will present urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Kid77:  I don’t know who originally said, “Nothing lasts forever” but whoever it was, they should amend that shit to say, “Nothing lasts forever except the Brangelina divorce.”  The legally single pair are still battling it out in the courts - still! - and it’s only getting uglier. The last we heard, Brad was suing St. Angie over the sale of her the shares in their French winery, Mirval, to a Russian oligarch, Yuri Shefler. According to Brad, the pair agreed not to sell their shares without getting approval from the other. Brad claimed Angie violated that agreement, and also claimed Shefler was shady AF and had ties to everyone’s favorite shirtless dictator, Vladmir Putin. Shefler denies this and says Putin called for his death (sure, Yuri, take a number). In the current issue of "Vanity Fair," there’s an in-depth article det...

    The prequel to Pet Sematary, "Pet Sematary: Bloodlines" will premier on October 6 on Paramount +.  If you're not familiar with Pet Sematary, it's a book by Stephen King that was made into a movie in 1989. I liked the movie. It's about an ancient burial ground that brings back the dead but not in the way they were. The dead come back as evil. In the original movie, the family's cat is killed so the dad buries it at the Pet Sematary. The cat comes back as a mangy, pissed off feline with a bad case of fuckuitis. Then, an unfortunate accident kills the family's kid and the dad buries him in the Pet Sematary. The kid comes back as evil incarnate dressed in Charles Dickens haute couture. As mentioned, the original movie came out in 1989 and featured Fred Gwynne (aka Fred Munster of The Munsters) as Jud Crandall. Jud knows the secrets of Pet Sematary. A sequel was made in 1992 with Edward Furlong (of Terminator 2). I'll save you the trouble...the sequel s...

  Tammy Tom Cruise 7th installment in the Mission Impossible franchise "Dead Reckoning Part 1" staggered to the box office in its global haul over the weekend like a Scientologist drunk on barley water. The movie didn't meet expectations especially in China where it managed to eek out a $25.9 million, which is 66% below Mission Impossible "Fallout" back in 2018. In North America, MI 7 managed to scrounge up $56 million. Seems like the Chinese audience, like many Americans, have grown tired of tent pole franchises and Hollywood's lack of originality. The movie has received good reviews.   Mr. Cruise said a couple of weeks ago that he has not intention of quitting Ethan Hunt. He actually wants to be like Harrison Ford with Indian Jones franchise and keep it going until he's 80 yrs old. Good luck with that. Since it opened, MI 7 has made $235 globally. The movie cost $300 million to produce which does not include marketing costs. I'm sure marketing exp...

Fans of Madonna are in rage-mode, ya'll. Why? Because the "I'm Addicted" singer (see what I did there) was out and about yesterday and has yet to let fans know if she's delaying her tour - which is supposed to start Saturday in Vancouver. BTW, what can we tell from this picture above? No ass. It's gone. As in her surgically-enhanced poot-box seems to have left the building. Other then that, she looks pretty damn good for someone who was on the edge of death after an opiate overdose a bacterial infection   generalized unbearableness  a bout of who the fuque knows.  But back to Madonna's little monsters (ah hahahaha! come for me Gag fans!). Similar to Adele, when she had a case of the scareds before cancelling her first Vegas gig, Madonna's fans are shit out of luck in terms of all the hotel and plane fees they've paid and they are not amused. Concerns about refund eligibility? Pff. That's for the poors.  Om one hand, I feel for them. Many laid ...

  It was bound to happen. Corporate fat cats (no offense to loveable feline chonks) have decided your loyalty to their products and services isn't worth squat. Many are quietly reducing rewards or eliminating reward programs entirely. This started last fall when Dunkin' announced no more free coffee on birthdays (I said it in Soup Nazi voice).    Other companies took notice and realized they could add another 0.0000001% profit to their coffers by reducing and/or eliminating programs that have been used for years to reward customer loyalty. Companies that are saying "screw you & your birthday" include Sephora who now requires online customers to spend $25 to get a free birthday gift. Um, why would anyone do that? The "free" gift is probably perfume sample that smells like jailhouse hooch.  Red Robin is telling customers they have to spend a minimum of $4.99 if they want a free birthday burger. WTF? And Starbucks requires customers to redeem birthday coffe...

  The Chronicles of Narnia is a series of 7 books by C.S. Lewis that were published in the 1950's. Over the years the books have been adapted into radio, TV, video games and just about anything you squeeze a dollar out of.  In the early 2000's, the Mouse House (Govt Name: Disney) adapted two of the books for the big screen: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; and Prince Caspian.   Sometime around 2018 Netflix opened its wallet, slapped its credit card on the counter (that's a lot of reward points) and acquired the rights to the books from Disney. Since then, Netflix hasn't done anything with them...until now.   No word on which book (or books) will be directed by Greta or how much she will be paid. Since she's coming off the heels (pun intended) of directing "Barbie: The Movie", my guess is this: If the Barbie movie turns into the bazillion dollar hit Hollywood is pushing for it to be, Greta can probably pick whatever book on the shelf she wants to adap...

    Mattel recently looked into their corporate toy chest to see what else they can pimp out adapt as a movie for Hollywood to further ruin our childhood in the name of capitalism. The company has reported there are 17 movies in the works including:   Polly Pocket - with Lily Collins and Lena Dunham Uno - a hip hop heist caper featuring rapper Lil Yachty Barney - with Daniel Kaluuya Major Matt Mason - with Tom Hanks Magic 8 Ball - no word on who will be in it Live-action Masters of the Universe (doesn't Mattel know this was done in 1987 with Dolph Lundgren?) Hot Wheels - being planned to be a gritty, testosterone fueled movie to be produced by J.J. Abrams Grab your Joan Collins funeral veil because originality in Hollywood is dead. It has been replaced by laziness and an obsession for reboots, remakes, sequels, prequels and anything else that doesn't require intellect or an original thought. I have no idea who the hell Hollywood is catering to anymore - besides bean coun...

Toot-toot, bitches! San Francisco, which is currently giving us New-York-City-hellscape-circa-1975, is about to get a whole lot hellscappier. And this time it's not Streisand's fault! 

  Indiana Jones and The Dialing for Dollars The Dial of Destiny landed with the thud at the box office. It managed to dig up $24 million on its opening day.  The movie didn't exactly receive the high-five people were expecting. I took a peek at Rotten Tomatoes where it received a 58% approval rating.  The movie reportedly cost almost $300 million to produce, giving it the distinction as one of the 20 most expensive movies made. Hooray! At least it can brag about that. This is supposedly the last movie in the Indiana Jones franchise - at least with Harrison Ford anyway. If it manages to eek out a healthy profit (IMO about as likely as my dog learning to pan for gold in my backyard), I'm sure Hollywood will find a way to keep the franchise going...and going.   I loved the first Indiana Jones movie. It was a great mix of good story telling, old Hollywood swashbuckling,  outstanding stunt work, and solid acting.  However, the sequels have been one dried up...