Peckerwood Manor

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from SaucyKitty! What’s that saying? If it’s not medically approved for your purpose/needs, then don’t take it? Guess Sharon Osbourne wishes she knew that. Sharon, best known for staying with a batshit crazy rock and roller for aeons, formerly hosting The Talk, not to mention “starring” in a mediocre reality show (really, aren’t they all?) is now on a campaign to get people to stop using Ozempic for weight loss, particularly teenagers. Meanwhile, there is a global shortage of Ozempic. This means that people like FatherSaucyCat (aka my Dad) have to take other diabetes drugs that may not be as well matched to their needs. Dad, for example, is having massive stomach issues with his current diabetes drug. My take? If you are not obese and are just looking to drop 10-20 pounds, you should perhaps try other methods for weight loss. Some people actua...

This dress does nothing for her breasts. It makes them look lop-sided. These women are so needy of water that I could not resist writing something, anything, about these cringefests who need to be desired and admired for their beauty and sexiness, and they are willing to pay any price; even dignity and self-respect aren't off the table. They don't give a damn about our opinions or derision.  Unfortunately for the environment,  their massive amounts of desperation are known to suck every H2O molecule out of the atmosphere within  a 5 thousand-mile radius.  "LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!!!" is their mantra and silent chant as they go about finding ways to get their names trending in entertainment news. These women are so fatally parched they even deserve a theme song, maybe Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy" from 1978 when Rod was hot stuff, although, to my contemporary eyes, he gives off sleazeball hanging around skeeving on blonde leggy models vibes.   Speak...

Heather Dubrow, a Bravo "Housewife" who once declared that she "hates plus-size pride," and who's married to Terry Dubrow, a celebrity plastic surgeon, swears on stack of Splenda that she's never had plastic surgery. Ever-ever-ever. Botox? Of course. Sculptura acid-based filler injections? Often (especially when she gets, as she says, "too thin"). But that's where she draws the line, because she likes to keep things "really natural." She's also bravely extolling the virtues of Ozempic, a life-saving drug for diabetics that's now in short supply nationwide. But not for diabetes, silly, for weight loss.  She's also spitting mad that people are "shaming" her and her celebrity friends about using the drug to slim down, and boldly predicts, "It's going to be like Botox when it first came out. Ozempic is an incredibly positive thing. It just really kick started me into eating better. It makes you feel like cra...

  Get in line, ladies! Faster than you can sing "Oh, oh, Ozempic!," there's a new man in town. Or is there? You'll have to squint, because it's actually everyone's favorite romancer, Jonah Hill. Hot off the heels of his ex-girlfriend, Sarah Brady, accusing him of mental abuse, and Alexa Nikolas, a former child actress who claimed that he physically assaulted her as a teenager, Jonah's is back and he's working the ho stroll with a whole new look. Or a lot less of his look, 'cause he's skinny as a string bean and sporting a sassy new buzz cut. Surely gals everywhere are swooning, amirite? Okay, so maybe not Sarah Brady, whom Jonah forbad from posting pictures on her Instagram account in her swimsuit - even though she's a surf instructor. "I respect your love of surfing," he texted her, "but I respect myself, as well!" This, he claimed, was coming from a very "vulnerable place." He further demanded that she "...