► A few months back the video game, The Legend of Zelda, announced it was being made into a live action movie. Actors have been slobbering over themselves to play the title roles of Zelda and side kick Link. Today, producers announced that actress Bo Bragason will be Zelda and Benjamin Evan Ainsworth will be Link. If you're thinking, "who the hell are these two", you're not alone. Bo is relatively unknown. She was in the Netflix series, "Renegade". For those of over the age of 35, don't confuse it with the 1990's TV series, "Renegade" starring Lorenzo Lamas as an ex-cop with luscious hair and a motorcycle. Benjamin's most memorable role was playing Pinocchio in the 2022 live action shitfest. That movie was so bad it received a 27% Rotten Tomatoes rating. Anyhoo, directing The Legend of Zelda is Wes Ball, who gave us the eye rolling "Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes", the 4th movie in the reboot of the franchise. Before that...

  ► Aaron Phypers (52) filed for divorce from Denise Richards (54) after 6 years of wedded bliss. Aaron checked off the irreconcilable differences box on the divorce form. Back in March, Denise gushed that divorce for them would never be an option, and that living with her was difficult - which Aaron agreed. See, that was mistake #1. Mistake #2 was Denise doing Only Fans with her grown daughter and showing their chochas and tatas to pervs. Aaron and Denise have no kids together - thank gawd. But they do share a motorcycle, power tools, and a sports care which were Aaron's to begin with. He wants to keep them. Fine! Keep your damn power tools. In case you're wondering how these got together, they met at a healing center in Malibu, California where Denise was undergoing "preventative DNA  repair". WTF is that? Does it involve hoisting herself on a car lift to check under the hood?  Aaron was previously married to Nicolette Sheridan of Desperate Housewives and Denise to ...

     I ran across an article that had me chuckling about Millennials and their frustration with Gen Z.   Millennials, the generation who grew up with social media and turned self-promotion into a cottage industry. Their admiration and idolization of social media influencers made it acceptable for self-absorbed behavior to be the norm.   In an ironic twist, Millennials are now becoming frustrated in their inability to relate to Gen Z – a generation heavily influenced by Millennials’ behavior. Millenials are turning to Tik Tok to air their grievances and to seek help in figuring out how to understand and communicate with Gen Z – especially their slang. They feel disconnected from Gen Z who, in my opinion, took their cues from Millennials to further establish the trend of using pompous language to describe everyday things. Why do they do this? To give things a fashionable spin to make it IG or Pintrest worthy. For example: Gen Z Millennial ...

Photo: Primal Movement Academy What do you call lifting, carrying, crawling, pushing, pulling, throwing, running, squatting, and jumping? If you're over the age of 40 - it's called exercise.  If you're a pretentious IG or Tik Tok twit, you label it as primal fitness.  Wait a second: is this what moronic influencers do all day? Sit around thinking of vacuous new names for existing things? Is this their sole focus of their existence? Ugh. Back to the story. The new trend among the pretentious and gullible is an exercise routine these posers define as, "foundational movement patterns to increase efficiency in everyday life." Huh? From what I was able gather, the patterns include pushing, pulling, rotation, and a bunch of other nonsense. Um, isn't this what in the old days was referred to as cross-functional or strength training?  I guess the IG and Tik Tok crowd need to put their own spin on it to make it sound fashionable. In a Muscle & Fitness article, Dan...

  In what has to be one of the most bogus lawsuits filed in recent memory, a Florida woman ('enuff said) filed a lawsuit last November against Kraft Heinz, the makers of Velveeta Shells and Cheese for $5 million. Keep reading to learn what happens when stupidity and greed collide at the intersection of What's Wrong with You street and Have You No Shame avenue. → Off track: I had to summon every ounce of strength to prevent myself from flying into a rage over the boneheadedness of this person. Prepare yourselves. Amanda Ramirez filed a lawsuit last November against Kraft Heinz because she felt the 3.5 minutes it takes to prepare the product is misleading. She objected to the package's claim of 3.5 minutes because it did not include the time it took her to unseal the package, remove the lid, add water, open the sauce packet, stir in the cheese sauce, and shove it in the microwave. In the empty vessel she calls her head, all this prep work took more than the 3.5 minutes the pa...

It's a Peen Battle, ya'll! But first, whisper thy names: Rockefeller. Vanderbilt. Carnegie. These were the august financial titans of the 1920s, who, in today's dollars, would be worth hundreds of billions of dollars more than any of today's financial behemoths.  Plus, I'm fairly certain that Rockefeller, Vanderbilt or Carnegie never challenged each other to a "literal dick measuring context," but golly, it's 2023 and we're so much more evolved. This is not to say that Rockefeller and the like were well-behaved. They were ruthless, often blood-thirsty, monopolists, and in the case of Henry Ford, virulently anti-Semitic.  But like Trump's legal quagmires being called "Stupid Watergate," we now have its companion, "Wealthy Stupidos," in the form of Musk, Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos. Added bonus: they are all deeply concerned with their peen sizes.  How else to explain Bezos' notorious rocket-shlong - specifically designed w...

Look, I get it. I really do. Some pop stars are insufferable twats and deserve to be slapped around. But get this: you honestly don't have to anything. Just sit back and relax, because karma will eventually catch up with them: Ah hahahaha! I keed, I keed (no, I don't). At any rate, this trend of beaning pop tartlets in concert continues with Harry Styles, who was hit in the eye this weekend - the eye, FFS! - with an unknown object by some goober in the audience: So what's the end goal here? Take an eye out? Maim his face? Make him dick-less? Because this isn't Harry's first time at the rode; some ass-nugget once chucked a bottle at his groin, causing him to double over in pain. I don't believe I have to repeat myself - will you kids ever listen?! - but there's much more fun things to throw if you really must. There's underwear (sans skid marks, you tool), jock straps (san piss stains, you heathen), and the old standby... . ..cream pie (though save that f...

  Ah, Mount Rushmore, who knew you're the portal to hell in disguise. In what I can only define as "Stupid is as Stupid Does", a state lawmaker from South Dakota is calling this beloved US monument a "demonic portal for communism". All this time, I thought Mount Rushmore was an inspiring rock carving that featured US presidents. Devil's Tower (the famous monument featured in Close Encounters of the Third Kind) is saying, "hold my spaceship ". Meanwhile, the trifecta of communism - Stalin, Mao, and Castro - are sitting around a poker table, laughing and chortling "Who Knew?" Anyway, back to the story. *grabs tin foil hat* Joe Donnell, a Republican member of the South Dakota House of Representatives said in a recent episode of "Now is the Time" podcast (insert eye roll): “In order to understand the spiritual realm of what we’re facing, we have to realize that in order for the enemy to do anything, it needs the agreement of h...