A tale of stupidity and greed: Update on Florida woman suing Velveeta Shells & Cheese Cup

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In what has to be one of the most bogus lawsuits filed in recent memory, a Florida woman ('enuff said) filed a lawsuit last November against Kraft Heinz, the makers of Velveeta Shells and Cheese for $5 million. Keep reading to learn what happens when stupidity and greed collide at the intersection of What's Wrong with You street and Have You No Shame avenue.

→ Off track: I had to summon every ounce of strength to prevent myself from flying into a rage over the boneheadedness of this person. Prepare yourselves.

Amanda Ramirez filed a lawsuit last November against Kraft Heinz because she felt the 3.5 minutes it takes to prepare the product is misleading. She objected to the package's claim of 3.5 minutes because it did not include the time it took her to unseal the package, remove the lid, add water, open the sauce packet, stir in the cheese sauce, and shove it in the microwave. In the empty vessel she calls her head, all this prep work took more than the 3.5 minutes the package states it takes to for it to be ready. She was seeking $5 million and for Kraft to change its packaging. 

The judge, who thankfully saw right through Ms. Ramirez bullshit, dismissed the case this past week on the grounds that, "she never alleged that she could not eat the product and that no threat of future injury existed because Ms. Ramirez now knows that the 3.5 minutes represents only the time to microwave the product which the directions on the package made clear".  I'm willing to bet the judge wanted to hurl a wheel of cheese at her for wasting the court's time and taxpayer money with this crap.

Ms. Ramirez alleges she would not have "bought the product had she known the truth". 

A few observations when I heard about this:

1. I'd like to know how many attorneys turned down "Mac & Cheese Karen" until she found someone even more stupid than her to file the lawsuit.

2. Does she know Velveeta Shells & Cheese doesn't contain actual sea shells? It's pasta in the shape of shells.

3. I'm surprised she didn't complain about the phrase, "liquid gold" that's used on their packaging and ads. I can see her raging about this as she probably expected to find actual 24k melted gold. Instead, it's a glob of cheese. Would she demand a bazillion dollars for the pain and suffering this misrepresentation caused her because "had she known the truth" she wouldn't have bought it?

I shudder to think how many Mac & Cheese Karens are running amok in the wild with no one supervising them. 

Source: Reuters; Business Insurance. Photo: Smiths/Kroger

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