Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from  filthy  esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Saucy Kitty! Plastic surgery: we’ve come such a long way from the days when people smeared arsenic, lead, nightshade, and all sorts of other delightful chemicals on their faces to look desirable. Of course, we can't all be Pure Glamour & Subtlety like Jocelyn Wildenstein, but if you feel like you’re getting, say, a little jowly, or if you just want an actual chin/bewbs/butt/cute perky nose, there is surgery to be had. Tons of it. Forget the poisons or the patience to wait for your retinol to start working; just undergo a “little” procedure and risk your life while under anesthesia! I’ve never quite understood why some of these celebs think we’re so dumb as to not notice when they’ve had work, especially when they obviously look different. Kylie Jenner (I know, I know, but she’s the most recent heaux to play the “I’ve never had pla...

  I apologize to Whamo in advance. J'adore, but je don't j'adore Goop. In her latest trolling interview , Gwyneth tries to come off as just an everyday woman. Stop laughing. She's a salt of the earth, a modest woman, and an Oscar Winner! She works relentlessly for world peace and saves animals in between modeling and being better than the plebes. She is the common man's princess of giving of self and is not materialistic at all. Not our girl. No way. I will give her this, though: the woman is an Olympian when it comes to pivoting. She flips the script when she wants to. Why would she want to, you ask? I am here to answer: it is because she has a cheaper line of beauty items from her new venture called Good.clean.goop that she is flogging to the lower orders. So now we get humble Goop, down-to-earth Goop, your bestie, and relatable Goop. But at one point, when she says she isn't attracted to very wealthy men, her mask slips, and Strawbitch rears her entitled head...

In news that will surely come as a complete shock to the estate of Bob Fosse, Beyonce has been accused of stealing another person's creative ideas. I know, I know, take a seat, 'cause this one's coming out of nowhere. But behold, in the picture above on the left, we have Erykah Badu, legendary singer, songwriter and everyone's favorite wacky auntie, in one of her more subdued tour outfits. To the right, we have Beyonce, mother of legendary, Grammy award-winning Blue Ivy, in a similar-ish outfit on her current tour, with at least the hat being a nod to Eryka's lewk. Which is enough to make Erykah scream, "Thief!" Though really, her reaction on Instagram was far more subdued: "Hmm. I guess I'm everybody's stylist now," she wrote. In other words, she poured the gas, tossed the lit match, then tiptoed away. Ka-boom! Oh, and on a semi-related note, Erykah was performing recently in Atlanta and noticed that John Boyega was in the audience and ...

Country music star, Jason Aldean is fuming, ya'll. Why, you ask? Because a lot of butt-hurt elites are are calling out his new ditty, "Try That In A Small Town," and its accompanying video, since many believe it's an ode to lynching all those pesky BLM protestors, or really  any Black person anyone who dares to "cuss out a cop." Let's have a lookie-loo:  What's the big whoop? Okay, so he sings about how he and his "Good ol' boys" are going to "Round 'em up" - in front of a specific Tennessee courthouse famed as a lynching site, and which appears to be on fire in the video. Please, ya'll are being extra. It's just a courthouse.  Also, so what if the small town chosen for the video shoot (which is not where the moneyed Aldean lives) was where a race riot nearly resulted in the death of Thurgood Marshall, and where a Black teen was lynched after being falsely accused of raping a white woman. Pff. Like anyone remember...

    It's slow news because of the SAG-Writers strike. So we have to make due with whatever floats on the proverbial toilet bowl. This came up.  According to reports (I'm side-eyeing Scoobie Obbie Doo), the Duke & Duchess of Nextflix stood on the airport tarmac with their thumbs out (the international sign of hitchhiking) to ask the White House if they could bum a ride on Air Force One for Queen Elizabeth's funeral. The White House said, "Nope". I imagine the White House operator rolled their eyes and proceeded to block their number. It takes a special kind of empty headed self importance stupidity to even think about asking POTUS for a freebie on Air Force One, let alone actually doing it. Then again, no one should be shocked since these two have been called grifters by Spotify execs. Is this why Megan didn't attend the funeral and Prince Harry looked pissed off at having to fly commercial?   Let's examine everything that's wrong if you try to hit...

Madonna, Taking a Bow (Peter Kentes/Coleman-Rayner)

Some Housewife I Guess

If you always thought it was all kinds of strange, that every gal on "Sex and the City" showed their bewbs and other body parts except for Sarah Jessica Parker, you are not alone.