WHAT COULD GO WRONG? Elon Musk's Flying Car!

By

Chitty Chitty Boom Splat! That's the flesh-ripping, skull-crunching sound you'll likely hear if flying cars ever come to pass. Because gravity, she is a mean girl. Just ask the Challenger astronauts! (what, too soon?) But that's not stopping Alef Aeronautics, an Elon Musk Space-X funded start up, which - incredibly - has just gotten approval for test flights from the FAA. 

So let's see, we've got Elon Musk (who, when he bought Twitter, labeled himself "Chief Twit") (points for accuracy!) (and who's currently in a dick spat with Mark Zuckerberg); we've got Alef, which is still so desperate for cash they're soliciting on their web site; and, oh, yes, did I mention gravity? So I ask the ubiquitous question: What could go wrong? 

Alef boasts that its car is "environmentally friendly!" Really? Does it run on Elon's butt clappers? Because that ain't clean. And, sure, maybe I'm being a buzzkill, but just imagine the drunk driving accidents in the goddamn fucking sky above every one's goddamn fucking heads. Are you not entertained?

Also, if you were hoping for a funzi Jetsons-type flying car...


...think again. 


Behold the vaguely see-through Honda Civic with a big, black herpes pimple dead center. And, no, this isn't the first time someone's had a go at a flying car. In 2017, Airbus' and ItalDesign's car-drone hybrid, "The Pop.Up." - it was operated by A.I., you could summon it with your phone! - was announced. 

So basically a janked up helicopter. It never made it past the concept stage. Because, you know, gravity, safety. Silly stuff. But you can already pre-order your very own Alef flying car - which retails for three-hundred thousand smackers - and yes, rich loons are already doing so. So I ask yet again, what could go wrong? 


I'll get behind this if, and only if, Musk and Zuckerberg - and, hey, let's be magnanimous and throw in Jeff Bezos - take the very first FAA-approved flight together. If something goes horribly wrong, will we really lose anything? Ah hahahaha!

(Photo Credits: United Artists/MGM; Alef Aeronautics; Airbus/ItalDesign; Hanna-Barbara/Warner Bros)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Peckerwood Manor's ELECTION PANIC-A-GOGO!

By
Image
It's happening right now! This is place to scream about the election; to vent, to rejoice, to grumble, then scream again. I swear, your throat will feel like sandpaper once this day is done. Have you voted yet? Are you in line? Post pictures! Is your heart skipping beats? Do you fear for the future? Of course you do! But crucially, do you have enough booze and pills to get through this? What, exactly, are you taking or drinking? We want to know. And what are you eating? Are you a sugar or salt whore? We want to know that, too.  Leave those who'd rather not discuss such matters to our special Election-Free Open Post , since today, for one day only, we're gettin' real and gettin' dirty  in our own gasping, shrieking, blood-soaked election post. Hold tight.   
Read more

OPEN POST: We Will Survive!

By
Image
Rise up, my chickens. We're all worth fighting for.  It won't be easy, it won't be fun, but through the long dark of night and on to a new day, it will surely be worth it. We don't regularly refer to politics in our Open Posts, but today, I think it's worth noting that many of us got through eight long years of Ronald Reagan - and it was a nightmare, and for many of my contemporaries, deadly. But here we are, we're still standing. We'll get through this, too, I promise.  What does this mean in the short-term? Tears, fury, booze, pills, or weed, of course. You have my permission - not that you need it - to comfort yourself however you like for the rest of the week. But come Monday, all bets are off. Bitches won't even see us coming. 
Read more

OPEN POST: Monday Music At The Manor With DJ Li'l Scratch!

By
Image
Are you freaking out about the election tomorrow? Me, too. Or maybe you're having a more generalized "It's Monday, oh-my-fucking-gawd" freak out? In either case, please allow Peckerwood Manor's esteemed DJ Li'l Scratch to take you away. Many of you already know about Li'l Scratch, as he regularly lays tracks at "Heavy D's," the Manor's exclusive after-hours club.  Today he's spinning Teri Thornton, a vibrant, husky-voiced jazz singer and piano player who hailed from Detroit. In 1961, she exploded onto the scene with her debut LP, "Devil May Care," demonstrating show-stopping vocal prowess. The reviews were through the roof and so was the public reception, yet just as suddenly - poof - she vanished after a few more LPs, her career thwarted by market changes given the rise of rock 'n' roll. And that was that. She was all but forgotten, reduced to driving a taxi to make ends meet.  But in a jaw-dropping comeback, she re
Read more