Who is April's Shitbag of the Month?

Our first contender for April's Shitbag of the Month is Sheryl Crow. The singer caught some flack earlier in the month for complaining about how hard it is for her to make ends meet these days, despite being worth an estimated $70 million. Crow claims she's had to sell songs to commercials because the way in which people consume music has changed so much over the years, meaning people aren't buying physical records anymore. She's not wrong, but the complaint still sounds a bit tone deaf (hehe) considering she owns a massive mansion on a huge horse farm in Nashville. Celebrities never cease to amaze me with their utter lack of self awareness. 

Next up we have Billie Eilish. The pop star released her new album this month and has been taking the "I'm a big fat lesbian!!" route for promo. Bree has pointed out how thirsty the singer is coming off doing this promo, claiming that she has always loved girls and finally realized she "wants her face in a vagina." However, this is not the first time the singer has discussed her sexuality. Earlier this year, she did an interview with Variety magazine where she discussed her preference for women. She then did a red-carpet interview with a queer interviewer who discussed her coming out in the article. Eilish then went on to make a bratty IG post, reprimanding the journalist for having "outed" her without her consent, despite the fact that she had already discussed her sexuality. People took issue with this fact and felt that it was unfair to the interviewer. 

Third is Governor Kristi Noem. The South Dakota governor is releasing a memoir called "No Going Back," in which she recounts the time she took her 14-month old dog, Cricket, outside to a gravel pit and shot her dead. Noem claims Cricket was aggressive and that "she hated that dog." But the killing didn't stop there! She then killed the family goat in the same pit as the dog, all while her children were at school. She recalls them asking her where their dog was when they got off the school bus. After facing backlash, Noem took to Twitter and also mentioned having to kill three of the horses on their family farm just recently. Noem tried to describe the slayings as a series of "tough decisions" that she's qualified to make because she's a toughie herself, making her the perfect candidate to be Trump's running mate as Vice President. But the story has backfired on Noem with many people classing her as a hateful animal killer, which she is. She's been criticized literally left and right, with fellow conservatives even condemning her awful behaviour.

Our fourth candidate is Megan Thee Stallion. Fans were shocked and disappointed to learn the news that the rapper is being sued by her former cameraman of sexual assault. Emilio Garcia claims that he was trapped inside a moving vehicle with Meg and three other women after a night out in Ibiza, Spain. Meg and one of the women proceeded to have sex right beside Garcia, and he claims he was "frozen and shocked" during the ordeal. He claims Meg told him the next day to never discuss what he had witnessed the night before. Garcia also claimed that during the same trip, the rapper had fat-shamed him on several occasions, telling him to spit out his food and calling him a "fat bitch." This is naturally disheartening as Megan has enjoyed a reputation of being very body positive. Garcia was dismissed from his position back in June 2023. He is suing Megan for six figures.

Last up is Marky Mahk himself. Bitch got sued for $14 million this month by none other than David Beckham, who alleges he was misled by Wahlberg into working with his F45 gym. Beckham agreed to be the gym's global ambassador but was never paid his fee, and he also claims that stocks he was promised were never given to him until after their value had plummeted. F45 is also being sued by pro golfer Greg Norman for a similar reason. Perhaps the Wahlbergs aren't as cut out for running businesses as they'd like to think. No good vibrations here!

 Sources: Washington Post, The Telegraph, Cindy Ord/Getty, The Guardian, NBC News