Peckerwood Manor

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from  filthy  esteemed guest writers. Today's is from SaucyKitty! Hey, y’all. As a filthy esteemed guest-writing Pecker - ahem, Peckerwoodian - I was hoping to enlighten you with my insights and whatnot while rewatching some of my favorite TV shows from childhood, in this case,  227 , which led me to realize: 1) I’m getting old; 2) They sure don’t make ‘em like the used to; 3) My memory is not that fantastic; 4) Also, my thinking was that by re-watching some of my childhood favorites, I could justify it by writing about it for you, yes you, my loyal readers (y’all can be loyal readers after two blog posts, right?). Now hold up, I can hear your from here. “Why the hell are you covering 227 ?” you holler. “Why not The Golden Girls ?!” (hail Rose, Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia, full of grace, cheesecake, and 80s floral patterns) Well, dear reader, the answer is simple; if you truly are a full-f

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from  filthy  esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Saucy Kitty! Plastic surgery: we’ve come such a long way from the days when people smeared arsenic, lead, nightshade, and all sorts of other delightful chemicals on their faces to look desirable. Of course, we can't all be Pure Glamour & Subtlety like Jocelyn Wildenstein, but if you feel like you’re getting, say, a little jowly, or if you just want an actual chin/bewbs/butt/cute perky nose, there is surgery to be had. Tons of it. Forget the poisons or the patience to wait for your retinol to start working; just undergo a “little” procedure and risk your life while under anesthesia! I’ve never quite understood why some of these celebs think we’re so dumb as to not notice when they’ve had work, especially when they obviously look different. Kylie Jenner (I know, I know, but she’s the most recent heaux to play the “I’ve never had pla

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Saucy Kitty! It seems as if everybody has a memoir out nowadays, but maybe that’s because the three latest memoir authors, Britney Spears, Jada Pinkett-Smith and John Stamos have been blabbing all over the place to any media outlet that will give them coverage. But did we know that Julia Fox also put out her memoir in October? No? Maybe it’s because nobody cares now that she’s not “dating” Kanye.  Or maybe it's because she’s such a glamourpuss that we mere mortals can’t see her by way of our own, surely busted fashun radars. Regardless, Julia has put out a book, which is quite aptly named, “Down the Drain,” as that’s where I wish she’d go every time her weirdly “toned” body and “daring fashion choices” hit my screen. Even before the book was released, Julia herself proclaimed it to be "a masterpiece," which almost seems like

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Dramatic Tea Houx! It started with AI Generated art , which is to say a bunch of copyrighted pieces butchered and then slapped back together to resemble something akin to that banana taped to a wall . Or Mickey Mouse on a bloody rampage. Fun, right? Or not, because this led to the birth of NFT’s, which technically stands for Non-Fungible Tokens - say what? - but which really means No Fuckin’ Tokens because crypto is dead and congratulations, bub, you just blew your life savings on a jpg that anyone can save to their desktop and “own.” Ain't technology grand? Hey, step right up, I've got an NFT of the Brooklyn Bridge to sell you! Does that make me sound old? I’m old. Now we’ve got AI chatbots such as ChatGPT, copy.ai , Google Bard and others. While copy.ai serves a useful purpose to help writers when writers block is giving them th

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Mizcynical! In this edition of "Fake Ass PR Relationship That I’m Tired Of Pretending Is A Real Relationship," we have Taylor Swift and Kansas City Chiefs football player Travis Kelce. Heard of them? It’s been - what? - less than 2 weeks since we saw that staged video of Travis and Taylor (sporting a Chiefs jersey tied around her waist) walking through a football locker room, not quite holding hands and making eye contact with someone’s cell phone camera? I’m already sick and tired of hearing about it. Let me start by saying my annoyance with this "relationship" doesn’t stem from being some football purist whose head is ready to explode because of the recent influx of Swifties becoming interested in football due to their coupling. Typically, the only way I know what’s going on with the sport is if I happen to catch a pa

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Dramatic Tea Houx! In today’s edition of Bitch Got Caught: The FTC is suing Amazon! Everyhor we know shops on Amazon. When you need socks, but you can’t be bothered to run to Walmart or Target, you open your Amazon app and order yourself some socks. Because avoiding people, am I right? But there's a side of Amazon that the public doesn't really get to see, and that’s Third Party Sellers and Vendors who sell to Amazon wholesale. Most goods purchased on Amazon are supplied by Third Party Sellers or wholesale vendors. The FTCs allegations are that Amazon prevents sellers from offering discounts on their goods on other platforms, such as Walmart.com, Target.com and other lesser-known platforms. Rude! As someone who has been in the e-commerce industry for more than a decade, I say, “We done been knew.” It’s no secret in the industry th

Hey, chickens, we're looking for some fab new writers to pen a few deliriously kicky posts on a semi-regular basis. Isn't that exciting (say, "yes")? We know you have urgent and, yes, deep thoughts regarding celebrities, fashion and varied sexual kinks 'n' such, so why not get up from your desk (that's you above) and get to typing? It's funzy, plus you'll be famous, celebrated and held in highest esteem. Actually, you'll more likely feel a bit soiled, but that can be funzy, too, you little strumpet. Here's how it works. Simply submit your proposed post (just the text) to Fleurofthemanor@protonmail.com and we'll get back to you as soon as we can, which is usually pretty quick. We may at times do a very light copy-edit of your post before hitting the publish button, or we may kindly ask you to do a quickie rewrite of certain sentences - mostly if something's unclear - but beyond that, it's all you-you-you for all the world to see

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from  filthy  esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Emma (aka The Tennis Chick): How long do we need to keep thanking Billie Jean?  Someone forgot to send Coco Gauff the memo reminding her that she was supposed to bow and scrape and celebrate the 50th anniversary of Billie Jean’s accomplishment before celebrating her own victory at the US Open. As she received the check for her $3 million prize money, Coco shouted, “Thank you, Billie, for fighting for this!” and the crowd roared its approval. But to me, Billie seemed like she wanted her own moment. As she handed Coco the winner’s trophy, she seemed to expect Coco to take one handle as Billie Jean continued holding the other while the cameras clicked and clicked. Instead, Coco excitedly snatched the trophy out of both of Billie Jean’s hands and turned to smile radiantly for the cameras as she lifted it aloft. The moment was only hers. Let’s

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from  filthy  esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Emma (aka The Tennis Chick): Are you born scum, which subsequently attracts you to Scientology? Or does the "church" actually make you scum? But before we get to that, have you noticed the recent spate of articles lately claiming that Tom Cruise is stepping away from Scientology? Out of the blue, a number of pieces suddenly started popping up with claims that Tom has not visited the Scientology headquarters in East Grinstead, England, despite having hauled ass to the UK some three years ago. This was presented as evidence that he was about to break up with the cult. In truth, Tom has faced this kind of fake news for years. Back in 2015, Esquire claimed that he was calling it quits with Scientology for the sake of his then nine-year-old daughter, Suri, who was at risk of being branded a Suppressive Person for not being raised w